Free Xbox Live Gold week, or free virtual girlfriend? It's all so confusing! [update 1]

As we were just saying in the previous post, Microsoft's got a lot of irons in the fire. The "free Xbox Live week" promotion seems to be particularly well-liked by the folks at Microsoft and Verizon, as the two companies have made plans to make the week of May 8th through May 14th free to broadband-connected Xbox 360 owners.

The newest promotion is timed to coincide with E3, and will also include a giveaway of one million Microsoft Points and a "backstage" E3 pass (did you boys pick those up on Craigslist, by any chance?).

Just because we're borderline obsessive-compulsive, here's everything that Joanna Dark says upon loading the promotion page (with our comments in brackets):

  • Don't keep me waiting [I'm hurrying, but these damned foil packages are so hard to open in the dark!]
  • I'm free all week [As opposed to for-pay the rest of the time... undertones of prostitution here. Sure, why not?]
  • You got a week. Come get some. ["Some what," we wonder, as we stare at Ms. Dark's fetching hindquarters.]
  • Don't arrive early. [A joke about premature arrival? Totally unexpected.]
  • Are you ready to play?
  • I'm game. Are you?
  • You want a piece of me? [Can't get much more explicit than this.]
  • Hope your couch is comfortable [It's fine for playing games. Here, put down that riding crop and have a controller.]
  • Hey, you got me all week [Why does she punctuate only some sentences? This annoys us.]
  • I'll be there. Will you? ["She told me to come but I was already there." -- AC/DC]
[Via too many tips to count.]

[Update 1: Neither Microsoft nor Verizon have announced this deal yet, so we eliminted language in the first paragraph that suggests that the companies have made an official proclamation. A Microsoft spokeswoman notes, "we plan on releasing more information early next week."]

*Verizon has acquired AOL, Engadget's parent company. However, Engadget maintains full editorial control, and Verizon will have to pry it from our cold, dead hands.

This article was originally published on Joystiq.