We haven't had Gizmondo news in forever! In the last episode of the defunct handheld's now epic saga, Stefan Eriksson, the former CEO who was ousted after it was discovered he had committed fraud in the '90s, totaled his million dollar Ferrari Enzo.

The guys at Lost Levels got their hands, by nefarious means we presume, on a never-released title for the console and now have an "exclusive" review of the Gizmondo's would be killer-app, Colors. Although slightly embellished, Lost Levels' Frank Cifaldi swears that the game, and the soon to be mentioned game mechanic, are absolutely true.

Colors looks like your standard GTA knock-off, except when you get arrested by the cops, you'll be sent to jail. After talking to a few people in the cell, a tattooed bear named James Earl Wyatt will help you get out of jail -- for a special fee that won't cost you a dime! All the player has to do is agree to be (choosing words carefully) willingly violated in the backside of the moon region to the point that it will cause enough damage that your character will wake up in the hospital.

Well, it is a much easier method to get out of jail than what the guys on Prisonbreak had to go through!

This article was originally published on Joystiq.