Burger King Xbox games roundup

We finally decided to ante up and visit a local Burger King in order to pick up the three Xbox games they released recently. You can get 'em with any value meal for an additional $3.99, and they work in both the original Xbox, and the 360.

Our first trick was in talking them into letting us buy all three without having to also buy three value meals. So, one Jedi mind trick on a manager and $15 later, we had our three games and a really nasty Chicken Fries value meal with hash browns. Not a good choice, FYI.

All three of these games feel like they are the bastard children of Fuzion Frenzy, but what can you really complain about for $3.99? The only improvement would be to stick all of these on one disc and sell them at the same price. They run in HD, but the graphics are extremely last-gen.
  • Sneak King -- the creepiest and weirdest of the bunch. In fact, the magazine ads for the games say "Now Creepy On Multiple Levels," and they mean this game. You play as The King, and your goal is to sneak up on people and surprise them with food. That's it. Stay out of the vision of the civvies and you're fine, but if they spot you, an alarm will sound, and they'll probably need years of therapy. You can jump in things like bales of hay and empty boxes to hide, and that's about as complex as it gets.
  • PocketBike Racer -- this one is exactly what it sounds like, you pick a character ranging from The King, to the Subservient Chicken, to Brooke Burke (wtf?), to a BK employee and hop on a pocketbike. The racing is fairly Mario Kart-esque: you can pick up power-ups along the way, including missiles to launch at your opponents, and dynamite to drop behind you. Unlike Sneak King, you can take this one online and race on Xbox Live. Which isn't any more exciting.
  • Big Bumpin' -- Okay, as much as we hate to admit it, we really like this one. It's bumper cars with power-ups, and you're trying to smash your foes off the track, what's not to love? Now you can finally take out all the aggression you feel towards The King. It's the best of the bunch, plus you can take it online and play Bumper Hockey, where you use your cars to guide a massive puck around the ice and hopefully into the goal. Did you see the South Park with the Pee Wee Hockey League? It's about like that, but funny as hell.
Final verdict? If you're in a Burger King already, and know you're gonna eat the food, then you might as well pony up another $3.99 and at least pick up Big Bumpin'. The online replay value of that one pays for itself. The other two you'll play for about five minutes each, tops, and then use as coasters or sharp-edged frisbees. Have it your way!

This article was originally published on Joystiq.