OK, those titles are all fictional (or possibly just wishful thinking). But this one isn't: The Goalkeeper, new from Winterwolves. This strangely specific soccer-sim is the perfect game for anyone who doesn't have enough fast-moving objects flying towards their head.
You can build up your own 'keeper' character, with a mix of skills including Handling, Reflexes, Jumping and Charisma (the same set, oddly enough, used in the upcoming Tom & Katie: The Sims expansion pack :-). Once you get comfortable with the whole goaltending thing, you can jump up a simulation level and tweak your attitude towards your team -- useful in ANY workplace. You can even argue with your own coach if he decides to bench you, probably as a result of your lousy attitude toward your team. Slacker!
I'm guessing that the market for this title may lie largely outside the ol' U.S. of A. Then again, I have colleagues who were so World Cup-mad that we ended up rigging QuickTime Streaming Server to pointcast the games on our LAN and avoid productivity losses lest people disappear to nearby taverns. Perhaps I'll pick up a couple of copies of The Goalkeeper as athletic-stocking-stuffers. Goooooooooaaaalllll!!!