Having recovered from the crushing disappointment that was Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles and its complete and utter failure to incorporate a deranged Mary Poppins (equipped with bionic limbs and a strong desire to open her primary weapon inside zombie orifices), a great number of gamers may find themselves in a ponderous mood. Why, just looking at Resident Evil 4, how can one not be compelled to ask, "What happened to this glorious, gore-ious franchise?"

What happened to slowly inching your way down a corridor, nearly paralyzed by the fear of how the next sudden camera angle might mangle your chances of survival? What happened to the constant interruptions provided by a vague health gauge that could only be accessed on another screen? Where did the dramatic exchanges between characters, so delightfully peppered with Jill sandwiches and Chris' blood, run off to? What happened to having your head ripped apart by an off-screen opponent, or struggling to shoot a dog because your highly trained S.T.A.R.S. agent has no idea how to aim a gun? What happened to inserting the crystal tiara into the cobalt iguana statue in order to unlock the underwater opera house?

Thanks a lot, Capcom. Your recent meddling has completely ruined a wonderful franchise.

- DS Lite: 110,845 30,948 (38.73%)
- Wii: 52,583 1,218 (2.37%)
- PSP: 31,503 7,574 (19.38%)
- PS3: 14,520 2,369 (14.03%)
- PS2: 14,234 3,553 (19.98%)
- Xbox 360: 2,963 926 (23.81%)
- GBA SP: 833 224 (36.78%)
- Game Boy Micro: 512 76 (12.93%)
- Gamecube: 255 50 (24.39%)
- DS Phat: 90 25 (21.74%)
- GBA: 12 3 (33.33%)

[Source: Media Create]

See also: Previous Japanese hardware sales charts, Sense of humor

This article was originally published on Joystiq.