It's MY hand."You n00b sunnuva bitch," said the legendary knight 3494-5541-9771. "Pwnage ... is inevitable."

"Hah!" said his adversary, 7111-9463-2931. "If you wish to grok your princess once more, you'll taste the fury of my skillz!" He raised his arms high in the air. "363171-765491, I summon thee from the shades of hell! Rise forth and rock this bitch!"

The ground shook, and from a spewing chasm came the beast, hideous and deformed. 3494-5541-9771 stood his ground. No creature would keep him from his princess. He dodged a 7612-8113-4353-1919 and drew his 1913-1564-8328, shining in the darkness. With one deft blow he severed the 363171-765491's head, and leapt toward 7111-9463-2931.

"Boom--" shouted 7111-9463-2931, raising his staff. The two collided--

"HEADSHOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

And all was silent. 3494-5541-9771 had won. He sheathed his 1913-1564-8328 and approached his beautiful princess, 654232-918811. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Did you ... did you pwn him?"

"I did, fair princess."

"Well done, knight. And now, your just reward..." She slowly began to disrobe...

"Wait," she said suddenly. "Do I have your Friend Code?"

"What? I don't need your friend co--"

"Sorry, sweetie," said 654232-918811, donning her gown once more. "No code, no multiplayer." She walked away.

"I ... but ... FRAK!"

(Seriously, Nintendo. This crap is ridiculous.)

- DS Lite: 133,325 22,480 (20.28%)
- Wii: 75,759 23,176 (44.08%)
- PSP: 24,850 6,653 (21.12%)
- PS2: 12,872 1,362 (9.57%)
- PS3: 11,948 2,572 (17.71%)
- Xbox 360: 2,900 63 (2.13%)
- GBA SP: 654 179 (21.49%)
- Game Boy Micro: 617 105 (20.51%)
- Gamecube: 167 88 (34.51%)
- DS Phat: 146 56 (62.22%)
- GBA: 26 14 (116.67%)

[Source: Media Create]

This article was originally published on Joystiq.

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