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2008's Biggest Blips: Final Fantasy Tactics A2

Eric Caoili
Updated ·3 min read



Developer: Square Enix
Publisher: Square Enix
Release: TBA

What separates Final Fantasy Tactics Advance from most other handheld SRPGS? Its level of polish. As with the original Final Fantasy Tactics game for the PlayStation, Square Enix put its talents and resources behind FFTA's soundtrack, character designs, and solid mechanics. Even today, five years later, the GBA title's presentation outclasses releases like Hoshigami Remix and Luminous Arc.

Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift continues that high-budget, high-quality tradition. While Square Enix hasn't yet announced a US release date, and we're disappointed about the the game's lack of both online and offline multiplayer features, we're excited about all the sequel's additions -- 400 missions, Revenant Wings-esque item synthesis, a reworked law system, bigger enemies, an expanded map with distributed "area maps," and a ton of new job classes.

FFTA2 now boasts over 45+ different professions, ranging from Chocobo Knights (Chocobo-riding Moogles) to Bastards (a surly lot). Just as interesting as the vocations included are the ones that were cut from the final release due to time constraints or continuity issues. We came across their design documents while sifting through Square Enix's dumpster for discarded figurines, and we've posted the never-seen-before job classes right here for you!

Chimney Sweep


Action Ability

  • sweeps your chimney

  • walks around covered in soot

Combo Ability

  • after years of choking on grit and dust, dies an early death due to cancer caused by inhaling carcinogenic chemicals in the soot


Real World Roommate


Action Ability

  • accuses you of disrespectin' her

Reaction Ability

  • refuses to accept any apologies or assurances that you had no intention of disrespectin' her

Support Ability

  • tells everyone in the house that you're disrespectin' her


Damn Cargo Shorts-Wearin' Kids


Action Ability

  • wears those damn cargo shorts every day

  • has too many pockets for their own good

Support Ability

  • perpetuates the misbelief that wearing camo anything is acceptable fashion (e.g. camo cargo shorts)


Gangsta Rapper, Circa Early-to-Mid 90s


Action Ability

  • checks himself before he wrecks himself ('cause shotgun bullets are bad for his health)

  • is the capital S oh yes so fresh N double O P -- D O double G Y D O double G, ya see

Reaction Ability

  • calls his crew while you call your crew so you can rendezvous at the bar around two

Combo Ability

  • is better than your favorite rapper


Overbearing Asian Mother


Action Ability

  • belittles any and every measure you take to establish yourself as an individual

Reaction Ability

  • repeatedly insists that you should've become a doctor or a lawyer, like your successful cousins, instead of studying "computer"

Support Ability

  • leaves you with crippling feelings of inadequacy and social ineptitude


Cute Friend Whom You Have a Crush On


Action Ability

  • hair smells of strawberries, sunshine, and summer possibilities

  • is a kindred spirit; totally on the same wavelength as you

Reaction Ability

  • looks at you pityingly when you ask her out

  • just wants to be friends

  • isn't ready to date anyone right now

Combo Ability

  • sleeps with four other dudes -- simultaneously! -- the following week


ALF


Action Ability


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Apollo Justice

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