One million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing

We feel kind of dirty giving any sort of attention to the cancerous boil on film directing that is Uwe Boll, but when the guy is acting this freaking weird we just can't help ourselves. Boll has followed up his offer to stop directing if an online petition against him reached 1,000,000 signatures with a heavily-accented YouTube video that manages to insult Eli Roth, Michael Bay, George Clooney and practically all of Hollywood as "fucking retards" that don't understand that Boll is "the only genius in the whole fucking business."

While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.

Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.

Transcript (taken from FilmDrunk): "So hi here, sir, Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about ze internet petition. Zere's a petition out to stop Uwe Boll, and I said if zere are 1 million, on ze petition I stop actually making movies. And I want, zat zere is a petition also out zere like a PRO-BOLL petition and I expect a million votes, Pro Boll. And I hope somebody would set it up, and you all start signing it.

Because look, I am not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or ozza people running around in zat business, or Eli Roth, making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius. And if you go on May 23 on Postal, you will see zat I deliver a movie, what NOBODY else deliver in ze last ten years. What is way better zen all zat social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to wake up and you have to see me what I am, I am ze only genius in ze whole fucking business. Goodbye."

This article was originally published on Joystiq.