Tristar Massage Chair isn't built for the average living room

Really, we've yet to pinpoint a massage chair that fit in well with typical furniture and didn't cost a small fortune, but we're tempted to believe that the Tristar Massage Chair was actually created with Martians in mind. This rather terrifying seating device includes all sorts of apparatuses that will reportedly remove stress from your back, feet, face and fingertips. There's also an integrated audio system for surrounding yourself in Kenny G or Killswitch Engage, whichever group helps you cope with all that you dealt with during the workday. Too bad you'll be burning that midnight oil to pay off the €5,000 ($7,807) credit card bill.

[Via Ubergizmo]

[Jason @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:25AM]

"Holy Incredible Hulk Batman!"

Wheres Banner in the picture?

Hehe, I recently watched the movie and the image has yet to leave my mind.

[teecas @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:29AM]

Will it reach hyperspace when set at maximum speed?

[Flashpoint @ Jun 23rd 2008 8:59AM]

No...it will erae your personality and implant a new one.

[OneLove @ Jun 23rd 2008 9:10AM]

it better have an attachment for my pecker.

[gad get @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:31AM]

Words cannot adequately express the bizarreness of this... thing.
But I'll give it a try, anyway: wapppwapalalapoloooingchoysmupoin. (That was for the benefit of my fellow Martians.)

[KEGJ @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:34AM]

I hope it will replace my memory also. especially after a night at my uncles

[NineT9 @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:43AM]

is that a jetpack?

[gad get @ Jun 23rd 2008 3:54AM]

WARNING:
Use of this device may result in muscle spasms, numbness of the extremities, tinnitus, dizziness, disorientation, nausea, hemorrhoids, severe bruising, torn ligaments, ruptured spleen, pulmonary distress, stroke, and/or cardiac arrest.

[TareX @ Jun 23rd 2008 4:00AM]

This is very, very, VERY expensive.

People who can afford this probably already have private subscriptions at private massage spas.

[Jenny @ Jun 23rd 2008 4:34AM]

This makes me think "Mall Kiosk"

[John Z @ Jun 23rd 2008 7:33AM]

Really? I was thinking more along the lines of "how high was the jerk who designed this, and why did he share said drugs with the marketing staff?".

[Celtic @ Jun 23rd 2008 5:10AM]

Built in beer fridge?

[Tim Dunne @ Jun 23rd 2008 6:14AM]

Get your ass to Mars!

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k188/toddhundleysucks/arnold-total-recall.jpg

[Mike @ Jun 23rd 2008 11:32AM]

Total Recall anyone?

[Big Al @ Jun 23rd 2008 7:12AM]

I don't think I'd get this even if you paid me $7,800...

[Ubie Hubie @ Jun 23rd 2008 8:10AM]

I got one and it's fan-TAS-tic! Aside from being a great way to relax (I play Jimmy Buffet between "Soothing Beach Sounds" and tokes on reefer), it's also a great conversation piece. All my friends have tried it (okay, mostly just for kicks) and they love it. I won't even tell you how much the girls enjoy it--I mean, they REALLY enjoy it. My new pick-up line is, "Ya wanna... try my massage chair?" Plus, the base is pretty heavy, so it's stable enough for two. I can't count the number of positions you can get into on this machine. So, the price is a little steep, but with all the extra-curricular activity lately, I've saved a lot of money on food!

[neofolklore @ Jun 23rd 2008 11:48AM]

wait, ur serious?

[Valgas @ Jun 23rd 2008 9:37AM]

So one can travel to any point in time, past or present? Wow.

[master_sword @ Jun 23rd 2008 9:39AM]

Whats with the part that would be above your head? Is that the speaker system? Or does it come down and massage your face?

[TrueGrey @ Jun 23rd 2008 10:41AM]

So isn't Scorpious gonna notice that it's missing?

But I gotta admit - being able to forcibly rip memories out of the minds of my prisoners in my own living room would be pretty convenient....

[neofolklore @ Jun 23rd 2008 11:19AM]

Their entire site is full of time travel shit

http://www.solpasion.com/contacto.php?text=Ocasi%F3n:Sportarredo:Tristar

[Mike @ Jun 23rd 2008 11:51AM]

Massage Chair? Looks more like a tanning chair. Or is that just the mood lighting?

[thedesolate1 @ Jun 23rd 2008 12:32PM]

Beam me up scotty.....

[SENATOR @ Jun 23rd 2008 2:34PM]

For the memory... of a lifetime.

[John @ Jun 23rd 2008 8:12PM]

Looks like something they prescribed for Alex after a bit of the old ultra-violence:

"No. No! NO! Stop it! Stop it, please! I beg you! This is sin! This is sin! This is sin! It's a sin, it's a sin, it's a sin! That! Using Ludwig van like that! He did no harm to anyone. Beethoven just wrote music!"

"I woke up. The pain and sickness all over me like an animal. Then I realized what it was. The music coming up from the floor was our old friend, Ludwig Van, and the dreaded Ninth Symphony."

"Can ye spare some cutter, me brothers?"

"I was cured, all right!"

[www.detentation.com @ Aug 24th 2008 12:22PM]

It's an incredible massage chair !!