Anti-terrorist drill reveals Segway attack plan, legions of embarrassed patrolmen

Ah, ha! So, that Chinese S.W.A.T. team we caught ridin' dirty on Segways earlier this week actually had a reason to be carrying on like they were -- they were performing anti-terrorist drills in preparation for security during the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. Comically enough, the drill was said to be one of "rapid deployment," though we aren't told how many spills were taken when officers tried to actually maneuver one of these things around, aim at a target, pull a brown bag down around their head and keep it from spontaneously reversing. Just one question guys: what's with the tiny guns?

[Via CNET]

[michas_pi @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:25PM]

How do they deal with recoil?

[Shnugi @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:42PM]

That's why they have small guns duders.

[thedesolate1 @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:34PM]

kinda brings new meaning to "drive by" huh?

[AlphaDeltaVIII @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:38PM]

Tiny guns.

[Oliver @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:50PM]

asians... speak softly and carry a big schti.. oh, wait...

[I LOVE THE CAPS LOCK KEY @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:15PM]

One guy has a Chinese AK-47, it makes tons of recoil.

[bobartig @ Jul 4th 2008 2:20AM]

I'm probably the best segway rider posting here (I've taken a couple dozen trips via segway), and I can tell you that trying to fire a gun while riding one would make me fear for my life. Just a terrible idea all around.

[yode @ Jul 4th 2008 3:46AM]

The guy in the back has an awp!!! Imagine awping on a segway...good times

[Dustin Frazier @ Jul 4th 2008 4:00AM]

i see no AWP.

[weirdozzz @ Jul 4th 2008 5:49AM]

wahaha viewers in the olympics are not gonna watch the atlethes anymore cause all eyes are on this goofy chinese swat if i were the maker of this segway i rather put an optional attachtment to the handlebars so you can just plug the guns or whatever riple chinese people have...

ps: jet li and jackie chan can use some of this wahhahah

[blade417 @ Jul 7th 2008 4:57PM]

I bet it's really hard to strafe...

[Kurt @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:28PM]

I wonder how good of a shot that one guy with the scope is. . .

[GatgetMan @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:48PM]

So if they use led in all the kids toys, what do they make the bullets with?

[rayw @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:49PM]

Probably better than thou ...

[Wwhat @ Jul 4th 2008 2:25AM]

It's spelled lead, just saying so people don't pick up the wrong spelling.

[Tom @ Jul 4th 2008 6:14AM]

The Mobile Sniper's mantra: It's easier to hit a moving target if you're moving as well.

[Mitch @ Jul 5th 2008 8:20AM]

Yeah i read LEDs and was thiking wtf.. Gw.

[deyanimay @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:28PM]

They look like they have to go pee really badly.

[Aguiluz @ Jul 4th 2008 12:56AM]

I GOT TO GO I GOT TO GO NOW!!!

- Me

[giantenemycrab @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:28PM]

This is from the Onion right?

[Graham @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:50PM]

No, see the thing that says "Via CNET" ?
That means...they got the information .....via CNET!

[jason @ Jul 4th 2008 12:01AM]

link?

[yoshi @ Jul 4th 2008 1:59AM]

link? See that thing that says "Via CNET".....click on that....or the "Read" item below that.

[initialxy @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:31PM]

great! a new equipment for counter-strike.

[TomTom2007 @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:04PM]

OMG... somebody go make that mod right now!

[I LOVE THE CAPS LOCK KEY @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:16PM]

Can't wait for it! (You read my mind)

[tekdemon @ Jul 4th 2008 12:28AM]

Oh man I can see it already...you can play as a Navy SEAL, French GIGN, UK SAS, German GSG9...and now...as a Chinese SWAT team member on a Segway. That...would be super awesome.

If you chose the Chinese SWAT team member, you'd be able to move equally fast no matter which gun you have out, but you'd be unable to strafe, lol.

[BigD145 @ Jul 4th 2008 12:58AM]

At least you won't have to worry about snipers. Crates are not handicap accessible.

[ronald.raygun @ Jul 4th 2008 1:56AM]

sounds good and all until you try and strafe left or right

[Kingus @ Jul 4th 2008 10:46AM]

But will you roll faster with the knife?

[kodey @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:33PM]

This happened to me once...I was riding my skateboard on state property. *sigh* the good ol' days.






On another note, is that dude in the back carrying a sniper rifle? I don't think he is going to get a three inch spread while riding a Segway...

[paul34 @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:02PM]

It looks more like similar to an AK

Of course, we all know that the AK is great for walling.

[kodey @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:16PM]

No--the dude in the background--with the greenish rifle...

[jason @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:30PM]

yeah, i see it, it has a scope.

from the guy nearest to the corner, over to guys to the right..

really weird.

[Abuzar Baloach @ Jul 4th 2008 2:58AM]

That looks like a SKS to me. Not the most accurate rifle in the world.

[thedesolate1 @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:33PM]

Call in the frogs! I mean the Segway.Wok.Attack.Team

[Bunson @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:35PM]

Lawl. Just plain lawl.

[DefPo3t @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:36PM]

OK lets see, would i take a officer seriously if they were on one of these, i think not. But as soon as i get shot from a projectile you better belieave i would

[JKT @ Jul 4th 2008 12:41AM]

But as soon as saw him lying on the ground as a result of the recoil, you'd immediately lose all that respect you gained seconds earlier.

[dave @ Jul 4th 2008 1:54AM]

...not if he just headshotted you.

[NG @ Jul 4th 2008 6:54AM]

Who has the guts to attack the chinese anyway?

[Jonuk @ Jul 4th 2008 11:31AM]

I'd laugh until I arrived at a Chinese prison. All of which make Gitmo look like club freakin' med.

[z0phi3l @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:37PM]

The only ones they can intimidate with that display is the French, all the other Countries are laughing at China right now.

[derekwf @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:41PM]

Nice Type 79 SMG's.

[njw78 @ Jul 4th 2008 12:32AM]

What happens when those terrorists discover a set of steps will neutralise the chinese swat teams.

[Mobius_1 @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:43PM]

As a Chinese person, I should be patriotic, but...words escape me...

The American ones looks so much more professional

[skulldriveshaft @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:49PM]

So they're going to be patrolling around on these, and crushing peoples toes that don't get out of the way, and they're fully rested until the battery dies.

How many hours before the battery dies anyways?

[Greg Mcp @ Jul 3rd 2008 10:56PM]

I love them steering with their knees.
I can just hear them going "piw piw piw" with their tiny toy guns

[Craig @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:22PM]

Totally laughing my ass off at this comment...thanks.

piw piw...bwahahahaaa

[jon @ Jul 3rd 2008 11:32PM]

ROFL