Some things just shouldn't ever be plugged into your
USB port. Not even that dusty, never-to-be-used socket in your
16-port USB hub. The gadgets you'll see below are among the worst of the worst, with some being so awful, they almost deserve a purchase just to give you a laugh live and in-person. Seriously, just listen: an actual "thumb" drive, a USB key doused in cabbage, a mousepad that doubles as a Lars Ulrich-approved drum kit and a USB Hollywood Film Kit for those still in denial over that acting school rejection letter. There should really be laws against some of this rubbish, but since there isn't, we're putting it to you -- drop your vote in below to let us know which of the following gizmos reeks the most. Good luck down there.
Read - USB "thumb" drive
Read - Cabbage drive
Read - Hollywood Reject Kit
Read - High heels phone
Read - Finger drum mousepad
Read - Finger skateboard
posted Sep 27th 2008 at 6:06PM
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Snooze @ Sep 27th 2008 6:18PM
I've always hated finger skateboards of any kind, so my vote goes there.
Gunn @ Sep 28th 2008 2:46AM
Try this one I just found on the same page:
http://www.usbgeek.com/prod_detail.php?prod_id=0911
Chicken foot! WTF(reak)! My vote would rather go there.
Are human-beings really that bored?
Max @ Sep 27th 2008 6:33PM
As awful as that shoe is, it's not a USB device. Where did that come from?
deyanimay @ Sep 27th 2008 7:28PM
Umm... Crapgadgets not Usb Crapgadgets.
puhsitch @ Sep 28th 2008 11:46AM
deyanimay, look at the title: "gizmos to scar your USB port for life"
Graham @ Sep 27th 2008 6:34PM
It never fails to amaze me at the thought of "why on earth would people make these?" Do they really expect it to be their big break or something?
Nick J @ Sep 27th 2008 6:42PM
That "thumb" drive is pure gold! :-D Lolz all around. What a great concept.
jupiterthunder @ Sep 27th 2008 6:45PM
Thumb drive? Did you overlook their chicken foot driver or they're warmer gloves? According to their site that thumb drive is a "hot item". I guess the bar isn't really that high though.
Reader @ Sep 27th 2008 6:48PM
Hollywood reject kit is pretty awesome
konshuss @ Sep 27th 2008 7:29PM
it really isn't.
Patriks7 @ Sep 28th 2008 5:02AM
It actually is.
If I would know where to buy it, I'd run right now to get it!
BuddyBoy @ Sep 28th 2008 6:05AM
I just ordered one *Hangs head in shame*
Darkroom @ Sep 28th 2008 1:38PM
i totally LOLed at that image... i think the big fat "SERIOUSLY?" caption made it work...
jupiterthunder @ Sep 27th 2008 6:49PM
"Each purchase will cost you $39.95, and who knows? You might just come up with that next great solo that could see you exchange the dreary office life for that of a rock star’s. "
I'm sold.
My vote goes to the finger skateboard. But it was close.
jon @ Sep 27th 2008 6:51PM
how about an apple usb port
it would be flashy and be able to cut cake
Fred @ Sep 27th 2008 7:14PM
That's very clever.
jon @ Sep 27th 2008 7:24PM
no, I am not clever at all
Sean Semidey @ Sep 27th 2008 10:25PM
www.funusb.com
a whole collection of shite you dont need :)
Frun @ Sep 27th 2008 6:59PM
To bad you can only vote for one.
Miranda @ Sep 27th 2008 7:01PM
All of these are less stupid than the USB humping dog, which has absolutely no function except to hump. At least the thumb drive and the cabbage drive are working USB drives, for example. That said, my vote in this poll went to the skateboard.
Garst @ Sep 27th 2008 7:11PM
This was a tough choice, but that thumb drive was disgusting!
youngstunna @ Sep 27th 2008 7:22PM
oh god, they're all so terrible.
mcbeanish @ Sep 27th 2008 7:25PM
i always felt like finger skateboards were one of the most useless things in the world anyway... to have one wired to your computer is just another step down.
deyanimay @ Sep 27th 2008 7:29PM
Don't look at it like a usb finger skateboard but instead a usb joystick with a skateboard on top.
Vëon @ Sep 27th 2008 7:30PM
Ah, great selection. Finally, a Crapgadget where every single gadget is undeniably utter crap. Voting so far seems to confirm that, mine went for the cabbage drive.
Anthony H. @ Sep 27th 2008 7:57PM
I can't get the Hollywood Reject Kit to work on a MBA D:
Jon Nelson @ Sep 27th 2008 7:58PM
The cabbage drive actually made me laugh out loud. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but it damn sure wasn't a USB drive shaped like cabbage.
In any case, my vote goes for the skateboard. How much more useless can you get?
Susie @ Sep 27th 2008 8:04PM
I kinda like the high heels phone, especially cute in pink.
TopaZ @ Sep 27th 2008 8:02PM
At half the price, I'd actually buy the drumming mouse pad.
I probably spend a good two hours a day finger drumming anyway.
torqueo @ Sep 27th 2008 8:39PM
Srsly!
Nick @ Sep 27th 2008 8:53PM
Wow, This is great! What has this world come to? My vote goes to the Hollywood one. Its stupid to me. That looks like it could kill you're USB port for sure :P
http://nerwin.net
Greg @ Sep 27th 2008 8:58PM
I don't know what merits a plain old landline phone to be featured here...Other than maybe because it has a novelty shape which is hardly new. How about the hambuger phone next or maybe the car shaped phone. You may as well have featured my new invention of "the-loose-paper-that-fell-off-the-desk picker-upper" which is a coat hanger with gum on the end. I will be selling that for 12.99, 19.99 for the deluxe model that has electrical tape wrapped around the handle.
gad get @ Sep 28th 2008 6:58AM
I'd buy "the-loose-paper-that-fell-off-the-desk picker-upper" as long as the gum is sugarless.
Klebbenator @ Sep 27th 2008 9:31PM
The finger skateboard is awesome!!
Rico @ Sep 28th 2008 2:25PM
If I bury the cabbage USB drive in a jar in the backyard for six months, what do I get?
Byrdman @ Sep 28th 2008 1:52AM
i like how they show the camera/light thing on an eee pc 701. i guess they are trying to make it look bigger??? that laptop is tiny so that camera must be extremely small
egloskerry @ Sep 28th 2008 3:56AM
1. I like that thumb drive. Clever.
2. I could see my girlfriend or mom wanting that heel phone.
3. I vote for the finger skateboard because those things suck.
gad get @ Sep 28th 2008 7:06AM
The next Crapgadget should include the "Pink Lips Phone" and the "French Fries Phone." Seriously, they exist. Follow the link to the high heel phone, and you'll see them at the bottom of the page.
Some Kid @ Sep 28th 2008 9:23AM
i like the mouse pad-gives the air drummer a little more dignity......the thumb drive is scary.......the cabbage drive is just plain god awful.......the phone- ehh- not clever nor stupid........the skateboard is just dumb.......and i dont exactly understand what that camera light thing is
so the winner for must useful- mouse pad
winner for most stupid- the thumb drive
nice job cropgadget. nice job
amsbestbuy @ Sep 28th 2008 10:12AM
Seriously......you have no sense of humor
henry @ Sep 28th 2008 11:01PM
Wow, you guys made it a really tough call this time... ALL of that stuff is beyond crap.
fred @ Sep 28th 2008 6:01PM
http://www.teenyweenydrive.com/
yes
pen0r....
beat that!
Muhammad-Oli @ Sep 28th 2008 6:45PM
K the shoe would be awesome if it came with the ability TO BE WORN! What the hell's the point of a phone shoe if you can't look awesome taking your shoe off to answer a call?
Muhammad-Oli @ Sep 28th 2008 6:50PM
Oh man, I was thinking "what can be so bad about this skateboard one?" as I browsed past the thumb drive, the phone shoe and the drum mouse pad. But then I opened the skateboard link... Oh God what happened?! My eyes! Who the hell thought of that? They deserve to be shot!
ssheehy23 @ Sep 29th 2008 1:08PM
If you like Stupid Stuff as much as I do, you should check out www.stupid.com It's full of hilarious stupid stuff. In fact, I would be surprised if the Thumb flash drive is not already listed there. I voted for the hollywood kit bc although I don't have a web cam, it actually seems like it has a lot of useful functions. Except I don't feel qualified to evaluate such items. Before buying a webcam, I'd prob check out consumers union website. I think they're smarter about that stuff than I am.
Ferny @ Sep 29th 2008 12:28AM
can we add jubei to the list?
iHoppipolla @ Sep 29th 2008 8:59AM
That Finger Drum mousepad could be entertaining enough if I'm on hold...
And that "thumb" drive creeps me out.
George Foreman @ Sep 30th 2008 12:06AM
Try my USB George Foreman Grill.