Caption Contest: Naked man who is also a computer; eye bleach not included

We really don't know what to say. We're sorry? That just doesn't seem to cut it. Maybe these captions will bring a small semblance of comprehension to this screwed-up reality we now find ourselves in. Please add your own in the comments, we can get through this together.

Josh: "The Robocop program had seen drastic budget cuts in recent years."
Chris: "iFixIt's teardown of ASIMO revealed what many had suspected all along: it's just a naked white dude with a motherboard duct taped to him." and "Please don't play Crysis - the GPU is like RIGHT on my nipple."
Joe: "Mobile computing means different things to different people."
Paul: "There are lots of great ways to stay warm this winter. This one is lame."
Richard: "Unfortunately, Jim slightly misread the TSA's new less-annoying laptop bag rules."
Darren: "Um, no -- those aren't mathematical equations written on my bedroom wall..."
Laura: "Gaultier proves, once again, that pants are extraneous."
Don: "Hello, Starbucks? Do you let folks use your power outlets? Great."
Nilay: "It's the liquid-cooling system I'm most proud of."
Thomas: "Hey ladies, watch what happens when I hit the defrag button."

["Thanks," sgt_easton]

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 29th 2008 11:16AM]

Is that a hard drive or are you just happy to see me?

[cardsfan1 Posted Oct 29th 2008 12:03PM]

After spending his Burger King paycheck on Crysis-worthy components, Jeffrey just didn't have the $50 left over for a case. So he did the best he could think of. Thinking is relative, however - he works at BK!

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 29th 2008 1:37PM]

If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, contact a physician.

[dannylewis Posted Oct 29th 2008 1:55PM]

You will be humiliated, resistance is futile.

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 29th 2008 5:08PM]

Sometimes, Viagra just isnt enough.

[tomasz tomasz Posted Oct 30th 2008 5:25AM]

when his norton subscription runs out, he uses trojan for virus protection.

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 29th 2008 6:26PM]

what mouse? just use the trackball.

[Vander Posted Oct 29th 2008 7:38PM]

Putting this just for the record o_O

[George101 Posted Oct 30th 2008 12:26AM]

What are you talking about? You use the joystick to move the cursor around and you have your circular left and right click buttons...

[Steve02k7 Posted Oct 30th 2008 2:35AM]

rule 34, anyone? :P

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 30th 2008 8:35PM]

robo cop on crack on a sunday afternoon. no girl...no gun...no life.

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 31st 2008 3:43PM]

Viagra beta tesing.

[(Unverified) Posted Oct 31st 2008 3:54PM]

Smithers: "Mr. Burns, you really turn-me-on..."

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 4th 2008 4:46PM]

Sorry if it's been posted but I'm not reading 50 odd pages of comments.

"I'm a PC"

[(Unverified) Posted Nov 7th 2008 6:39AM]

"OK, ummm.....I'm ready, who want's to cyber!" *snort*