If the trusty mechanisms which usher our incoherent ramblings onto the internet do their job, then this particular edition of the Japanese hardware sales should be hitting monitors across the globe just before the beginning of the 43rd Super Bowl. We devised this clever bit of scheduling because -- prepare to be amazed -- we know exactly what the outcome of the big game will be. This way, you guys can be impressed by our soothsaying prowess, but it'll be too late for you to abuse our clairvoyance in a Pete Rose-esque fashion.
How did we coerce this prophecy from the swirling ether of fate? It was a two-step process:
1. Despite protests from a number of concerned parties, we arranged a boxing match between a construction worker and an aged higher-up of the Catholic church to determine the winner.
2. To discern the numerical statistics, we handed an overzealous five-year-old a crayon and a piece of graph paper containing the first 700 digits of pi. Following our explicit instructions, he drew a breathtaking portrait of a certain ambulatory sponge on the paper. We divided said sponge in half, assigning the digits touching his symmetrical parts to statistics for each team. We gave the child a bag of Skittles, and returned him to his extremely worried parents.
Here's our final tally: Cardinals over Steelers with a final score of 88 to 2. We know, we were surprised as well -- who would have anticipated that Monsignor Francis would be so darn scrappy?
- DSi: 51,618 10,907 (17.44%)
- PSP: 38,280 4,279 (10.05%)
- Wii: 26,770 5,563 (17.21%)
- PS3: 17,708 2,982 (14.41%)
- DS Lite: 13,686 5,123 (27.24%)
- Xbox 360: 7,663 1,913 (19.98%)
- PS2: 5,077 683 (11.86%)
[Source: Media Create]
See: The clairvoyant archives