In all seriousness, many users have been reporting that the official Champions Online patcher has been both downloading slowly and disconnecting from the server after timing out, leading to many people becoming furious over not being able to log in. FilePlanet users have also been affected by this as well, even after pre-loading the Champions Online client to be ready for this day.
Patch sizes have also been varied across user reports, with some patches exceeding 3 gigs while others only have to patch 925 mb. Cryptic has responded with a patcher fix that was pushed to the live patch server at 2 PM PT (5 PM ET.) This fix has alleviated the stress for some users, but still has not fixed the widespread problems. We here on the Massively staff still cannot update, along with many other users.
We feel that it is important to stress, however, that it is unsafe to download any fixes from any outside source via BitTorrent or any other downloading website. Doing so may put your computer's data at risk to theft and malicious viruses. The only fixes you should be downloading should be fixes coming across Cryptic's patch server through their client.
We have contacted Cryptic for comment, and we have been told that Bill Roper is preparing a statement on the issue that will be released shortly.
[Edit: Bill Roper has released a statement on the Open Beta issues]