So, picture this. You get the itch to start some chaos at around 3AM local time. You snatch up your stolen shotgun, load a few slugs in there and roll out with a mind to come home in a shiny new vehicle. As fate would have it, you choose to carjack a 2009 Chevy Tahoe, and while everything seems kosher at first (look, there's even a half-full bottle of Coke Zero over there!), the mighty V8 just seems to be struggling all of a sudden. As the horrifying reality sets in (you know, the one that involves the accelerator not functioning any longer), you're left with no choice but to curse OnStar's Stolen Vehicle Slowdown feature, which has just nabbed its first-ever criminal. As the Tahoe slowly grinds to a halt, you make a fruitless dash and topple into a swimming pool before being apprehended soaking wet, and even though OnStar took just 16 minutes to return the vehicle to its rightful owner, at least you'll go down in history as the first one to fall victim to the system. Here's to you, unfortunate carjacker -- next time, go for a lawnmower. Humiliating video is after the break.

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