WoW.com's prestige in the community has afforded us the opportunity to speak to major Azerothian leadership figures on any subject, and we're letting you, the reader, Ask A Faction Leader!
We recently spoke to Cairne Bloodhoof, High Chieftain of the tauren, and he shed light on several key issues, including cruelty to hawkstriders, data-mining farseers, two-handed totem trainers, and Earthmother itches. In this installment of Ask A Faction Leader, we'll be sitting with Highlord Tirion Fordring of the Argent Crusade.
Our first reader question:
Ah! A perceptive son of the Hand, I see. Your training has paid off! The answer is actually quite simple.
I realized that my armor was a bit outdated for my role as new leader of the amalgamated Silver Hand and Argent Dawn; however, I could not make the trip to Outland due to my busy schedule. Instead, I enlisted the help of two of my most favored paladins. Each of them made the trek to the Black Temple, defeated Illidan and his lieutenants, and were each successful in salvaging a full, radiant set of Lightbringer armor. Their duties fulfilled, they returned to me, adorned in their hard-earned regalia.
Then I made them fight to death and took the loser's armor. By the Light!
Your interest in the Ashbringer is understandable -- it is undoubtedly one of the finest blades ever forged, and the most powerful weapon against the Lich King and his minions. The issue with the Ashbringer is that it's just really bad luck to have around. You wouldn't think so, being a blade of pure Light and all that, but seriously! It's bad news warbears for anybody but me.
Highlord Mograine? He got shanked by his own boy with it. Darion Mograine? Had to impale himself with it to redeem his father. Even the kid I lent it to for like five minutes got killed. Do you really want to be an entry-level raid boss or a dying questgiver in a starting zone? If you really want to die, the best way to do it is in glorious battle fighting an unrestrained monster for no reason in my Coliseum. Think about it.
Ah, this is rather embarrassing. See, I was trying to organize my chat channels, and I accidentally... I mean, that is to say... Gah. All right! You got me! I accidentally disabled Say and General and Whisper. Do you know, like, a macro or something? I don't even know if my DKP tells are getting through and we have that Icecrown thing coming up so DKP is gonna reset. I gotta take everything I can get.
Your question is "Where are we getting dead horses?" Have you even been in the five-man?
Well, we've had tauren in the Argent Dawn and Crusade for a while. They're great warriors, admittedly, and their desire to take up the trade isn't surprising. The reason we're accepting them as Light-wielding brothers-in-arms, though, is because as a class, we're severely lacking in races with huge shoulders. All we've really got is draenei! We're in danger of falling even further behind warriors in terms of average epaulet size. This was really the only way. Now, if we could get orcs to bother with anything Light-related, we'd be ahead of the game, but they can barely focus on light fixtures, much less the real thing. I guess there's not enough red paint or spikes on our tier sets for them. And no, we don't want your elves, thank you very much.
Well, sure, we'd help, but a cataclysm? I'm not sure any threat to Azeroth is greater than the Lich King, and I especially can't think of one that could cause destruction that great. Are we talking, like, earthquakes, cave-ins, that kind of thing? Because I'm really good at predicting cave-ins, and I got nothin'.
Dear Tirion Fordring:
Looks like somebody's lost sight of the big picture! Sometimes you gotta crack a few omelets, lady! I know it might be hard to understand, but there's definitely a formula for success here. Look:
1. Set up Crusader's Coliseum
2. KILL OR BE KILLED, CHAMPIONS
3. Be killed
5. Arthas dies
Besides, we'll never run out of Crusaders no matter how many of them can't learn to use their strafe keys on Icehowl. People will always want mounts and non-combat pets. I could offer a repeatable quest to slap a handful of kittens and people would do it if I gave them a little pet for it. And they'd drop the kittens off a cliff for a mount.
Look, Sandeface, I don't mean to be, you know, that guy, but the waiver you signed clearly states that we aren't responsible for adverse reactions to Holy magic. Or immolation by snobolds. Or waxy dark energy buildup. Or swarm scarab bites. Or death. Really try to keep that last one in mind.
That's all for our audience with Tirion Fordring! Next week, we'll be speaking with Highlord Darion Mograine of the Ebon Blade! If you have questions for Darion, whether you need advice or have questions about ghouls or diseases or anything in between, send them via email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line "AAFL".