Stanley Torch Watch lights your path, highlights your odd aesthetic sensibilities
By Joseph L. Flatley 
posted December 31st 2009 6:14AM
posted December 31st 2009 6:14AM
It takes a rather unique -- or hilarious! -- flashlight to make the pages of this august publication. We've seen torches that record video and torches that induce nausea, but never before have we seen a flashlight that's been haphazardly shoved into a digital clock and called a "watch." The Stanley LED Torch Watch features a backlit alarm clock, timer, and mini LED torch which may or may not be detachable. Available at the low, low price of $58. Action photo after the break.
if youre jogging in the dark with one of these you deserve to get jumped.
@ImDaIllest But if you *do* get mugged you can blind AND beat off your attacker with your watch!
@sh0nuff That is, if you're not too tired having dragged that thing around whilst jogging.
@sh0nuff If you choose to "beat off" your attacker... is it really rape?
@sh0nuff
If you beat off the attacker they'd sue you for rape.
Star Trek had this first, with double flashlights.
Actually, the most fatal design flaw of this hamhanded contraption is the alignment of the lamp. If it had been pointing forward, it would've made for a passable if astonishingly clumsy wrist torch. Like this, it's completely useless.
@MarbleMind
Yeah, I was thinking "Hm, it'll be great at lighting up the cars, bushes, and front lawns that you're running past. Too bad it wont be lighting up the sidewalk you're running on, helping keep you from tripping over everything on it".
@(Unverified) Unless you're holding your arm across your chest and talking into it like a real spy.
@MarbleMind
If you're walking with your arm is down at your side the light is facing forward. If you're running from a bear or mugger, it won't be.
@MarbleMind
First I thought the torch was meant to lite the clock display... hmmm...
@unzarjones
Well, even so, I find it much more difficult to aim the light beam with my arm stretched out at the side of my body rather than just directly pointing it where I want it to be.
@MarbleMind
I think the most fatal design flaw is the clock display being perpendicular to what a normal watch is.
Fancy, last crap gadget of 2009! Looking forward for 2010. I guess we'll see a head mounted torch with a 32MB MP3/(4?) player, of course expandable to 64MB soon popping up..
@theswiss Oh, I'm sure they can squeeze a few more crapgadgets in before the bells if they try hard.
Headtorch with mp3 player would not be crap but functional
"...if I point the light this way, and put my rifle onto of that arm, I won't need to go back to the genetic lab's main office and find the duct tape in the top drawer." - me playing Doom.
A cellophane cutout over the lens, and this is the perfect Batsignal.
@Atkins That's what I said!
At least they got a good hand model for the shot.
Yeah the position of the light couldn't be more awkward. Ok Stanley, when you make a flash light watch the size of a short-bus, make sure AT LEAST position the light to point toward the fingers and not the inside of ones body. Morons.
Anyone else notice they used the same standard time as HTC does on their press shots? Or am I subconciously just a ginormous fanboy?
I'm pretty sure I could buy a cheap watch, a flash light, and a roll of duct tape for WAY less than $58. If this thing had a secret hidden compartment for snacks, I might reconsider.
Batman Utility Belt .....very very very early concept stage.
It's December, going on January, but definitely not august. ;)
It is a hideous watch light however. Bleh.
I haven't seen that much cheap plastic since Michael Jackson's funeral...
If that WR30M counts for the whole thing it could be a neat dive accessory for shallow dives.
Where's the cowbell? It needs more cowbell
Wait a minute, why does it need to be backlit?
@Atkins
A fatal flaw with the size is trying to get your hand in a bag of potato chips without snagging the bag.
If you're uncomfortable around girls, this watch is for you
OK, Let's take it as a given that the flashlight part sucks. Now just imagine trying to look at the time on that thing. You'd have to put your fist under your chin and lift your elbow to look at the time.
Double fail!
Pip-Boy!!
@psycros
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