Report: 'Nintendo, Mario in the world 1000 million for the new Wii'

Today's most confusing headline is brought to you by the Google translation of a Nikkei Net report that New Super Mario Bros. Wii has topped ten million (not one-thousand million) units sold worldwide since its release in mid-November (and early December in Japan). Frankly, we're downright shocked that this kind of game -- with such an unsavory cast of characters -- could sell like gangbusters. C'mon, all they ever do is kill each other!

The figure Nintendo is not sharing is the number of relationships that New Super Mario Bros. Wii has destroyed. Three and counting for me -- making it at least 30 million worldwide! Let's just say, Mom and Dad and a certain someone who is dead to me aren't allowed to visit again until they learn proper Propeller Suit etiquette.

This article was originally published on Joystiq.