For a long time, I looked at the world as if everything were black and white. A lie is a lie and the truth should be told to everyone, no matter how much it hurts. But through the years, this attitude has not proven itself to be good for getting along with people. Yes, I wish everyone were honest, but that just isn't the case, and sometimes dishonesty really doesn't hurt anyone. While I still believe in taking a stand for what is right, I think it is wisest to save your energy (and the resulting drama) for what is really important. This week, we hear from an honest player who wants to do the right thing.
Dear Drama Mamas, I play a disc priest and I recently joined a raiding guild currently attempting to kill the lich king 25. I am one of 2 disc priests on trial at the moment and we joined the guild the same day. I feel I know my class and I think come well prepared for the raids. The other priest is a little less well prepared. He don't know what piece of loot is the best for him and he was a little wierd gemmed when he first applied but fixed it. He even asked if one trinket was better than another in the raid chat so this part is quite clear to everyone. He performs alright and is actually quite good. Since we joined he's been whispering me a lot asking questions and generally chatting and I think he's a really nice guy.
The trouble is this: Tonight during our progress wipes on LK we chatted back and forth all the time on how to improve and what went wrong. We're currently the only 2 active raiding priests in the guild and it's quite good to get another guy's opinion on stuff like movement.
All of a sudden, he commented that the raid leader is a much nicer guy than their former leader. I asked him how he knew how her raid leading was and to my surprise, he told me he'd been in the guild on his hunter before but got kicked for disappearing for 5 days without telling a word to anyone (vacation). He then told me to not tell anyone in the guild.
Stunned by getting this knowledge, I quickly SS'd it but I'm in doubt with what to do? Should I tell the leadership about this and probably be hated by my priestly colleague? Or should I keep this knowledge to myself, especially given the fact that the guild is in dire need of priests at the moment? Signed, Should I or Shouldn't I
Drama Mama Robin: Should, I don't think you should. By your own account, he seems like a good guy who is willing to improve his character. It's not like he admitted to anything actually bad. He went on vacation for less than a week and neglected to tell the guild. Only really strict guilds kick for that -- it's not a moral or ethical issue. With the change in leadership and time passing, it's not even certain that the current leadership would care too much. You may just end up alienating a fellow player and coming off like you are trying to eliminate the competition, regardless of your good intentions.
I'm not saying that DiscHonest (see what I did there?) is doing things correctly. I haven't seen the app for your guild, but they usually have a question about being in the guild previously. He must have lied on that question. He also may be lying about why he left. Maybe he did ninja loot or had an affair with an officer's significant other. Liars lie. But he also may have told you the truth -- we just don't know. Whatever DiscHonest really did to get kicked, he is likely to do it again. So if it was something really heinous, he'll show his true colors soon enough. If he really is no worse than a bit of a flake, however, his being flaky again isn't going to cause too much drama. Unfortunately, you will be the one causing drama now if you tattle on his bit of dischonesty. (A joke done once is worth doing all day, don't you think?)
Your account of him leads me to believe a second chance isn't going to hurt anyone. I wouldn't trust the guy and I would keep the screenshot, but I don't recommend causing a fuss at this time. I hope you get the raid spot and that your guild turns out to be a good fit for you!
Drama Mama Lisa: I'm with Robin all the way here. Just as when we advised The Other Egg to pipe down and let his guild leadership work, it's time to keep your nose to yourself. Hopefully, the officers are doing more than waving a magic wand over the guy's app and will spot anything that could be a problem. You risk more by looking like a gossip or a back-biter than by calling this guy out right now.
Drama Buster of the Week: So many of us want to hear the latest and greatest about the upcoming expansion and all the lore that goes with it. But there is a chance that some of your guildies may not want their Cataclysm spoiled before they get to play it themselves. Even if there are only one or two in your guild who want to avoid spoilers, don't make them leave guildchat. Just create a Spoiler chat channel and invite your fellow speculators. It will keep guildchat friendly and uncluttered, and you will have the added advantage of being able to chat about the expansion across guilds, if you like.
Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas@WoW.com.