When I receive an especially tasty tidbit or tip to tuck into The Classifieds, I usually nudge it quietly into my 15 Minutes of Fame or World of WarCrafts folder so that I can give it a little more breathing room and chat with the creative force behind whatever's going on. I could do that for the lead of this week's The Classifieds, too -- but I'm not going to. The folks behind TheOpenTicket.net have cast a mind-bogglingly huge net of humor and parody over an entire web site, twisting current world and WoW news into wry stories, cartoons and videos. Want more? Just explore the site -- it's all there.
"TheOpenTicket.net ... (no ads, just fun) that has been writing fake news stories about Azeroth since WoW open beta," writes co-creator Caldwel. "The site is written, designed, and illustrated by myself and one other from the Shadowsong (US) guild <Redridge County College>. Up until this past January, our stories were just published solely on our guild site, but after prodding to write more stories, we decided to move it off to its own site. We do one story a week and try to tie in some timely world events. ... Our current story which mimics the iPhone4 fiasco and has the head of Gnomish Engineering handing out free rubber bumpers for the malfunctioning devices."
Ready for something a little more (ahem) actual, factual about the WoW community? Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
Random Acts of Uberness
It's when another player lights up your night with precise play, a wicked sense of humor or unexpected generosity that your login becomes something to remember. Share your Random Acts of Uberness with firstname.lastname@example.org. Keep things brief (150 words or less, please), and be sure to list everyone's character names and home realms or battlegroup.
Naiades, Cho'gall (US-H) It was just your average Saturday evening leveling attempt via the RDF and there I was, ready to encloak the world in a Power Word: Shield, when I ran across Naiades in the depths of the Sunken Temple. First with one consistent group of five and then with another, with a couple random changes in between, we ran orange Maraudon twice, green Maraudon six times, and returned to the Temple another four times over the next six hours. My lovely little blood elf partner constantly drove the pace, killing one boss after another only to flit down yet another ramp or staircase, searching for the next group of mobs. Meanwhile, I loped behind her, shielding and healing. We never wiped and I made sure that she never died, while she kept the attention of every beast, elemental, dragon or other troll priest that we came across. By the end of it, we had both gained three levels and we had made the best tank/healer combo that I've ever been a part of. Hopefully, BNet will let us friend or group across servers intentionally at some point in the future, because I'd love to do that again. Thanks. --Wychdoctor, Blackhand (US-H)
Shygal, Kael'thas (US-A); Dindria, Whisperwind (US-A); and Rongoa, Kael'thas (US-A) I queued up for a Utguard Pinnacle to try and get the elusive Blue Proto-Drake. I'm in mostly 25-man ICC gear and our group was rolling, though, except for when one of my valkyr guards from Nibelung decided to pull half a room going upstairs. After that wipe, things were going well again, until the tank decided to go AFK forever. We pulled the three mobs near the king, and with my mirror images, Shygal (boomkin), Dindria (rogue) and Rongoa (bubble priest), dealt with them swiftly. After another 10 minutes of waiting for our tank to get back, I suggested we zerg the king, since half the time he is running to his boats. We queued for another tank and started the king; we downed him using our tricks to break his CCs and got a tank right at the end. Thanks to Shygal, Dindria and Rongoa for going head-long into what could have been a losing battle, and the tank, Petrelli (pally meat shield) of Alleria for not rolling on the orb; I know the last two seconds of the fight were tough. --Loaro, Alleria (US-A)
News: Azeroth local edition
Level 1 Explorer Proud GM Ironoath of <Oasis> on Azuremyst (EU-A) couldn't be more pleased on behalf of wee little level 1 member Döra, who recently snagged her Explorer title after an epic journey on foot across Azeroth, Outland and Northrend. "I wanted to share with you what one of our older (50ish, I believe) members has undertaken to do," he wrote us back when her adventures were just beginning. "She doesn't really raid due to real-life commitments, so she's started a level 1, frozen the XP at level 1 and is going for world explorer with absolute minimum help. We've all offered to boost her through, but she's rejected our advances unless absolutely necessary in order to forge her own adventure!" As you can see, Döra achieved her goal and her title in an emotional conclusion to her quest in Northrend, surrounded by her cheering guildmates. Read all about her adventures in a special forum set aside on <Oasis>'s guild forums. Congratulations, Döra the Explorer!
New social guild site Looking for a new online home for your guild? Try out Enjin, a new site that already has some 150,000 + users. The features-rich web host appears to be social-media savvy and ready with features guilds need; look 'em up if you're considering a new home on the web.
Guild wars Roleplayers and world PvP specialists, does your guild have a declared mortal enemy? WoW.com is looking for articles on how to run a guild war. How do you find a like-minded guild to battle? Do you set rules of engagement? Do you mix in scheduled events, or are things best kept fresh by keeping them loose? How do you prevent incidents from becoming rancorous or personal? Submissions are being accepted through tomorrow, Aug. 5; visit the submissions post for assignment details.
Employment: Guild recruiting
Looking for more? Send in your guild name, realm, guild website and a sentence or two on your guild's focus (10-man, RP, late-night raiding, whatever) to email@example.com.
Sacrificial mage <Popular Peoples Front> of Khaz'goroth (US-H) is recruiting Oceanic players for -- well, for this: "Our main activity is sacrificing mages, particularly our guild leader," writes PPF's recruiter. "No reason, just funny to hear him on Vent. We do weekly 10-mans for giggles. Non-stop nonsense. Guild ranks are crotch-themed." If this sounds like your kind of place, contact Anacche, Zhac, Ysarra, Douyeet or Douyeth.
ICC-10 <Blood Bunnies of Doom> of Bloodhoof (US-H) is seeking a talented and mature switch healer, DPSer and ranged DPSer for ICC-10. "We are a very relaxed multi-national guild that likes to raid at a time that suits all," notes the guild's recruiter. Raids Fri. 6 p.m., Sun. 2 p.m. server time; 11/12 in ICC-10. For more information, whisper Béés, Dèäth, Wawr, Shivsticke, Calammity or Aurrasing.
SOS> of Caelestrasz (US-A) is recruiting for hard-mode Halion-25. "We're currently 11/12 ICC hard modes, and we've lost a few members to real-life issues like getting new jobs," reports the guild's recruiter. Raids Sun./Mon./Wed./Thurs. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. AEST (Oceanic). "The guild has a lot of people who have been there since way before Sunwell and Black Temple, but is such a friendly group that is really easy to integrate into."
The late crew <Night Shift> on Icecrown (US-H) is a newish guild seeking to push further into ICC. "Must be knowledgeable of your class and willing to take more than a few attempts at an encounter to succeed," observes NS's recruiter. Raids Tues./Wed./Thurs. 12:30-3 a.m. MST; 7/12 ICC-10 hard modes, 10/12 ICC-25.
ICC-10 <The Reckoning> of Vek'nilash (US-A) seeks 10-man ICC raiders who can make at least two of three weekly raids. "We're a mature, drama-free guild that wants to start working on hard modes without being held back by attendance issues," explains The Reckoning's recruiter. Raids Wed./Thurs./Sun./Mon. 7-11 p.m. server time; 10/12 ICC-10.
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on player and community news, help finding the right guild, who's making waves in the WoW community and more. Email your news and Random Acts of Uberness to TheClassifieds@wow.com.