Or at least that's what one would imagine transpired after devoting, as I did, entirely too much time to this mind-numbing mess of a game.
%Gallery-106558% Did I say "mess?" Okay, good, because it is. Here's the gist: you control Sonic (or one of his myriad pals and enemies) as you race through various venues on hoverboards (or hoverbikes), hurling weapons at opponents, collecting coins, grinding on rails and generally going very fast. See, it sounds cool. It may well have been, if it weren't for the fact that the simple act of turning (let alone doing so with any accuracy) requires more effort than whatever promise the overall concept had is worth.
Before every race, you take part in a sort of short pre-race, during which you weave between cones in what seems to be an attempt to calibrate the game to your range of motion. In my experience, it didn't appear to lessen my need to contort my body and make sweeping, exaggerated arm movements in order to feel like I was only vaguely in control of my character.
The result is the equivalent of patting your head while rubbing your stomach while riding a unicycle. At best it's clumsy and frustrating, at worst you'll simply end up screeching to a halt unintentionally. This will happen, or you'll hit something, and the computer-controlled racers will go zipping by, blissfully unhindered by the same control scheme as you. Lucky devils.
To its credit, the game is colorful.
If you couldn't tell, I am not a fan of Sonic Free Riders. Video games are, at least at a basic level, supposed to entertain and provide enjoyment. In this case, the fun begins and ends with whatever you can imagine the experience could have been like.