Patient Session Recording Excerpt: Harry Sunderland (12/01/2010)

" -- right in the flamingo."

"And that's when you realized it was a nightmare, Harry?"

"Yes. It was so palpable, like I could feel gravity pulling my stomach out through my feet. And this figure just stands there, watching me flounder and sink into my own house."

"And this figure, you say, has very distinct geometric attributes."

"He's got a triangle, or maybe a pyramid for a head. Wait. Oh my god. I -- how did I miss this? I'm so stupid!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember, you're here because you may be insane, not because you're a dummy."

"Well, I just got back from Japan, and I bought this Trims-made Pyramid Head figure. This thing is a detailed resin statue, doc. It's a Konami Style exclusive and it took them forever to make it."

"And where did you put it?"

"Right above my bed, on a shelf. I mean, I paid like $344 for it. You have to put that stuff on display."

"Why is that, Harry?"

"How else are people going to know what elements of popular culture I enjoy?"

"Of course. So, tell me about this Pyramid-headed person."

"Well, he's from the Silent Hill video games. He's, like, an enigmatic representation of guilt and tore some lady's skin off in the movie. You know ... I'm beginning to think I should have gone for Valtiel. That's what you're thinking, right? This statue hovering over me is messing me up. "

"Okay, I'm going to stop your supposed self-diagnosis right there, Harry. This rationalization isn't doing you any good. Let's talk facts: you spent $344 to sleep underneath the creepiest thing in the world. That's worse than the guy who came in here with a Pennywise snuggie."

"And what happened to him?"

"I told you -- I don't treat dummies."

This article was originally published on Joystiq.

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