As they say, "Ye who snoozes, something something something, set your alarm for launch morning." Take solace in a new dramatic commercial for Verizon iPhone featuring you-know-who -- it's after the break.

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*Verizon is currently in the process of acquiring AOL, Engadget's parent company. However, Engadget maintains full editorial control, and Verizon will have to pry it from our cold, dead hands.