Do you know what Nintendo's successor to the Wii will be called? No? Us neither. That's embarrassing too, because we're supposed to have the scoop on stuff like this.
But beginning at 9 a.m. PDT/12 p.m. EDT, we're finally going to know what Mario and Co. have planned for the year to come. Let's go!
10:16AM That's it, guys! Thanks for reading! We'll try to go cover that new controller with our grubby, greasy fingerprints.
10:15AM Few game logos on the screen as people exit -- Kirby Wii, Just Dance 3, Animal Crossing, Kirby Mass Attack, and so on.
10:15AM Reggie's talking up the Nintendo Network, which will bring you gaming news and trailers, and -- no, wait! Just stay here. We got you.
10:13AM Getting some hands-on time with the new 3DS games as soon as we leave here. We'll try to beat the rush!
10:12AM Wrapping up, it sounds like. Talking up the company's four consoles -- DS, 3DS, Wii and Wii U.
10:11AM Man, if they announce they're getting rid of friend codes, that be an awfully good time for the aforementioned confetti.
10:10AM Battlefield 3 getting shown off now, pimping the system's "online functionality," DLC, multiplayer, etc.
10:10AM Showing off Madden, picking plays stealthily on your touchscreen.
10:09AM Electronic Arts' CEO John Riccitiello taking the stage! He looks significantly less sleepy than he did yesterday.
10:09AM Iwata and Reggie back on the stage, selling developers' excitement for the controller.
10:08AM All third party titles in that reel, by the way.
10:08AM Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge! No real indication of the controller's uses, but man, is it bloody.
10:07AM Tekken making the rounds now -- use the touchscreen to apply make-up to your characters faces, decals on their clothes. Endless hilarity.
10:07AM Other titles appearing in the reel: Dirt, Aliens: Colonial Marines (welcome back, old friend!), Ghost Recon Online, Metro: Last Light -- they're DEFINITELY courting the hardcore audience, here.
10:06AM Darksiders 2 showing off on the screen now. Not really showing how the new controller will be used.
10:05AM Darksiders 2 aiming to come to the console at launch. Tekken Wii Succesor, Batman Arkham City, AC: Revelations all coming to the new console. So is Ghost Recon Online.
10:04AM A bunch of major developers are talking about the Wii U. 5th Cell, Ubisoft, Namco Bandai, Activision, Irrational Games all seem pretty bullish about the new controller's possibility.
10:03AM Announcing Lego City Stories, a TT Games title for Wii U. Looks very, very Grand Theft Auto-y, but with more colorful blocks. Also coming to 3DS.
10:02AM A shooter game, the Wiimote players shoot upwards at a player in a starship, who can see below him using the Wii U touchscreen.
10:01AM "Chase Mii" is a footrace -- players with Wiimotes chase a player using the Wii U controller, who gets a helpful birds-eye-view of the race.
10:01AM Another tech demo called Shield Pose, which lets you use the controller to block oncoming arrow onslaughts.
10:01AM "New Super Mario Bros. Mii" announced, lets you use your Mii to do some Goomba-stomping with Mario.
10:00AM Hard to get a beat on the graphics, but definitely an upgrade to the Wii.
9:59AM Nice little visual demo on the screen now, a bird flying through the air in a serene cherry blossom forest. God, if Duck Hunt-guy doesn't blow this thing out of the air, we're gonna be bummed.
9:59AM Eight different Wii U "experiences" on the show floor this week. Not real games, just "interactive demonstrations." Sort of like the early tech demos for 3DS, we're assuming.
9:57AM Smash Bros will interact in some fashion between 3DS and Wii U -- "but that's a product for the future."
9:57AM Kid Icarus Uprising developer pitched on the Wii U, talking about making Smash Bros. title for 3DS and Wii U. GIVE.
9:56AM Full Iwata Asks interview going up soon with more of his thoughts. We'll keep an eye out!
9:55AM "There's so many new possibilities, we're just trying to decide where to begin."
9:55AM Talking about some gameplay implications of the new controller. Shigeru Miyamoto is on the screen, giving his input on the new input.
9:54AM Creating a strong bond between you, your games, and the internet. We're already well acquainted, actually.
9:53AM Console is in HD -- explaining why that new Zelda game looks so darn sharp.
9:53AM The images on the screen are created and transmitted by the Wii U console with no latency, according to Iwata.
9:52AM Looks like you hold the controller like a tablet -- though it's "not designed to be a portable video game machine."
9:52AM More specs -- we missed the two triggers on the back, and two shoulders on top. Rumble feature built in. Microphone, speakers, accelerometer and a camera also in the controller.
9:51AM Totally backward compatible -- with games and peripherals -- with the original Wii.
9:51AM 6.2-inch screen built in. "You won't have to give up your gameplay when someone else comes in the room and wants to watch a TV program."
9:50AM Satoru Iwata is taking the stage, hopefully to explain what kind of wizardry we just witnessed.
9:49AM Some kind of new Zelda title making the rounds -- all of your inventory appears on the controller.
9:49AM Controller can capture images and video, then send them seamlessly to the screen.
9:49AM Showing off some kind of FaceTime-esque video chat.
9:49AM Ninja game -- throw shurikens using the touchscreen at objects on the TV.
9:48AM Looks like a Zapper attachment for the controller -- the touchscreen shows off a zoomed-in display, Silent Scope style.
9:48AM Set the controller on the ground a golf ball appears on it. Camera detects your swing, and the ball lands on the TV. Really neat.
9:48AM A baseball game is shown, where the pitcher aims his shot using a back-mounted camera pointing at the screen.
9:47AM Using it as a drawing pad now to do some Zelda sketches. Playing some Othello.
9:47AM Reel is showing off the system now. Playing New Super Mario Bros, someone changes the TV channel and the game continues right on the touchscreen.
9:46AM New controller on the screen -- giant touchscreen confirmed. Four face buttons, two thumbsticks and a d-pad!
9:45AM "It's a system for everyone, but it's tailor made for you."
9:45AM It's called Wii U!
9:45AM Talking about/defending the Wii's moniker -- sounds like they're ramping up to the new platform's name.
9:44AM Okay, making a proper introduction to "a new gaming companion." Buckle up.
9:42AM Doesn't Reggie understand? I AM a Pokedex.
9:42AM Announcing all the eShop content that was available to download last night -- Excitebike, Super Mario Land, the Pokedex, etc.
9:41AM Talking up the eShop now -- 10 seperate 3D-enabled trailers coming this week, demos are coming later this year.
9:40AM A sizzle reel now of all the other 3DS titles. Ace Combat 3D, Tetris, Cave Story 3D -- an audible cheer! -- Resident Evil: Mercs and Revelations, Driver: Renegade, Pac-Man Dimensions, Tekken 3D, Snake Eater 3D.
9:38AM Luigi's Mansion 2 is an entirely new game, featuring several new mansions. No release window on this one.
9:38AM It doesn't seem like Luigi has gotten particularly braver over the years.
9:37AM Luigi's Mansion 2 is on the screen now. Looks super similar to the original, vacuuming objects, creeping through dusty hallways. Man, I've missed this game.
9:37AM Kid Icarus coming later this year, and the multiplayer's on the show floor.
9:36AM Trailer ended with a teaser of some kind of AR component -- playing cards create in-game character models, which duke it out.
9:36AM Previewing a multiplayer component -- choose a weapon and battle against your friends. Or, if you're at the Nintendo press conference, against a thousand strangers.
9:35AM Kid Icarus Uprising is on now. Showing a mix of ground-based and shoot-em-up gameplay segments.
9:34AM Super Mario 3D coming before the year is over.
9:34AM Lots of other familiar power-ups -- looks very Super Mario Galaxy-y, only not in space, natch.
9:33AM Looks like fully 3D gameplay, no sidescrolling here. Lots of Tanooki Suit action, which I almost certainly spelled incorrectly.
9:33AM A completely new adventure -- incorporates quite a "tail." Get it? DO YOU GET IT?
9:32AM It is Mario time. The real-life Mario in front of us looks surprisingly nonplussed.
9:32AM Star Fox 3D coming to U.S. stores this September.
9:31AM The 3DS cameras record other player's reactions in real time while you play Star Fox 3DS' multiplayer.
9:31AM Talking Star Fox now -- looks like it has an alternate control scheme, which lets you steer the ship using the game's gyroscope.
9:30AM This new Mario Kart hits stores this holiday season.
9:30AM Looks like there's a bit of vehicle customization this time around -- swap out your tires for bigger, presumably sparkier tires.
9:30AM Oh, the karts are hitting huge jumps and turning into hang gliders. Running into water and turning into pseudo-submarines.
9:29AM Some gameplay on the screen now. Blue sparks, power-ups, boost pads -- it's hitting all the familiar notes.
9:28AM First off the line: Mario Kart. Did we mention the teaser showed a hang glider? That's officially cray-cray.
9:28AM Showing us five key future titles for the 3DS, all on the show floor this week.
9:28AM "Look, we know what you want." Old and new, comfort and surprise. Luigi's Mansion and Luigi's Mansion.
9:27AM Reggie Fils-Aime's taking the stage, hopefully to throw copies of Luigi's Mansion 3DS into the audience.
9:27AM Ooh! Luigi's Mansion being teased now! Do tell.
9:26AM Kid Icarus now, dropping some baddies with his mad archery skills.
9:26AM Mario Kart and Star Fox so far in a 3DS teaser reel -- "Do a Barrel Roll!" elicits a cheer. Looks like a Mario title's in the mix!
9:25AM The new platform is something to look forward to "next year" -- this year, it's all about the 3DS. You can go ahead and strike that off your Christmas list, gang.
9:24AM Full details are coming "a little later this morning." Ugh, delayed already?
9:23AM Talking about the new platform -- hoping to reach a "deeper and wider" audience.
9:23AM He's speaking about the expanded audience that Nintendo's products have brought into the gaming scene. Lots of pictures of people who are literally jumping with excitement to play the Wii.
9:22AM Satoru Iwata is now making his way out to a Ben Folds track. Yes, please!
9:21AM They're personally thanking us for playing Zelda games over the years. Guys, you're totally welcome. Glad we could help out.
9:20AM A few key Nintendo developers that have been in charge of different installments in the Zelda series are taking the stage.
9:19AM Nintendo's also releasing the Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D soundtrack as a bonus for early Club Nintendo adopters. They're also launching an album of the 25th anniversary concert, which will launch in tandem with Skyward Sword. We can't wait to listen to Zelda while we listen to Zelda while playing Zelda!
9:18AM The orchestra will be performing a series of 25th anniversary Zelda-themed concerts in "major regions" later this fall.
9:17AM To be more specific, the free Four Swords download is coming in September.
9:16AM Skyward Sword is launching this holiday season, as well. SO MUCH ZELDA.
9:16AM The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords coming to DSi later this year as a free download.
9:15AM Starting next weekend, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will launch around the world. Talking up the game's hint feature, for people who haven't already beaten it 42 times.
9:14AM The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening coming to eShop by day's end around the world. First Game Boy Color title on the storefront.
9:14AM For the 25th anniversary, we've prepared a Zelda game for each of our systems.
9:13AM Oops, the orchestra's trying to play two different jingles at once. That rarely sounds good.
9:12AM Miyamoto is talking about the music of Skyward Sword, a bit of which made its way into the montage. The orchestra's about to bust out a few familiar jingles -- the opening a chest sound, the solving-a-puzzle stinger, etc.
9:11AM "Last year was the 25th anniversary of the Mario series. This year, it's the 25th anniversary of The Legend of Zelda."
9:10AM Shigeru Miyamoto is taking the stage as the chamber choir makes its exit. Looks like the orchestra's sticking around for the whole show.
9:09AM Aah, there's Skyward Sword. There's going to be a lot of skydiving in this game, you guys.
9:08AM Would you guys mind if we just like, stopped liveblogging and went back home to go play Ocarina of Time? Would that be cool?
9:07AM A montage of the whole series is rolling behind them. We haven't seen any clips from Skyward Sword quite yet.
9:06AM They're busting out an orchestral version of the Zelda theme, complete with chamber choir.
9:05AM It's go time!
9:05AM Lights going out. An army of black-clad people are lining up in front of the stage.
9:00AM Okay, we should be starting any minute now, provided this news ship stays on schedule.
9:00AM "No pocket square, Reginald? How pedestrian."
8:58AM I don't know what you guys want out of this liveblog, but I hope it's pithy observations about everyone's ensemble, because that's what you're getting.
8:56AM (Fox McSpace. Duh.)
8:55AM I probably shouldn't be yelling out the answers to all these trivia questions, but how else am I supposed to let everyone around me know that I know Fox's last name?
8:48AM Oops, a guy sitting in front of us accidentally came here dressed as Mario.
8:46AM A single piece of confetti just tellingly fell from the ceiling. It looks like something coming later is going to be exciting enough to merit a confetti blast.
8:42AM This Nintendo-based trivia is making us feel smarter than we've ever felt in our entire lives.
8:35AM Seriously, you guys. We are going to MESS UP some ghosts. (That's what you do with StreetPass Tags, right?)
8:34AM The event is still a ways away from starting, giving us plenty of time to sort through the 20,000 StreetPass Tags we've encountered since we got here.
8:31AM Thanks for the intro, DAD.
8:28AM Hey everyone, this is Griffin's first press conference. Can you believe it, a pro like Griffin is just now getting to the Big Show and it's a console reveal. Let's hope he doesn't totally mess this up and ruin it for everyone.