The Crusaders, Sally Whitemane and Renault Mograine, stepped into the Two Bosses arena, well-rested after their bout with Forgemaster Throngus. The Cardboard Assassin had already been assembled in the opposite corner, swaying uneasily with the deafening roar of the gathered crowd.
Tirion Fordring rose from his seat and spread his arms to silence the audience. The moment the cheering stalled, Tirion motioned to Whitemane and Mograine. He bellowed, voice gruff and rumbling. "Today, in the left corner, heralding from the Tirisfal Glades of the fallen Kingdom of Lordaeron, we have the Scarlet Crusaders, Champions of the Light, bane of the unholy Scourge."
Tirion motioned in the other direction. "In the right corner, heralding from the forges of Westfall, stands the Cardboard Assassin, slayer of men and gods alike."
"Champions," Fordring shouted, "are you rea--"
The arena floor burst into flames, flooding the coliseum with smoke and cutting Lord Fordring's words short, driving the audience into sudden silence. The fires were extinguished as quickly as they came, and a woman stood in their place, obscured amidst the smoke. "Well," she observed, "this hardly seems fair."
Vanessa VanCleef stepped forward. She pointed between the competitors, first to the Crusaders and then to the Assassin. "Two of you, versus one of him? I thought I was the cheater, buying an engineering tinker's way into the tournament, but you're the cheaters." Her voice dripped with venom. "Champions of the Light, I'm sure."
"What is the meaning of this?" Tirion demanded. "You've lost, Vanessa. Vacate the arena!"
The Defias kingpin looked up at Fordring as he lorded over the arena floor. "Your incompetence has allowed a tag team to ravage its way across a single-entrant tournament. It's absurd. You're honestly going to let a tank-and-healer team fight a cardboard cutout with a spring attached? Nobody wants to see that." Vanessa stepped over to the Cardboard Assassin, running leather-bound fingers along its corrugated edges. "The rules have been broken from the start. Fair play must be maintained, Lord Fordring, or your entire tournament is nothing more than a cruel joke on your beloved audience."
Tirion frowned, the lines of age showing on his face. Vanessa was right. The audience was displeased with him, and growing increasingly unruly.
VanCleef smiled up at him with deceptive innocence. "I will fight beside my dear assassin today, Tirion. Should we win, the ... legitimate competitor will advance."
"You cannot possibly be thinking of allowing this, Tirion!" Renault shouted. Whitemane followed, "She lost! Remove her from the grounds!"
"I will allow it." There was no enthusiasm in Tirion's voice and he did not like the rogue's emphasis on legitimate, but he had little choice in the matter. "Vanessa, take your corner."
"Champions!" Tirion took his seat. "Begin!"
The rules of the ring
- The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
- Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
- All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
- Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
- Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
- Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
Whitemane: Arise, my champion!
Mograine: At your side, my lady.
Vanessa is right. The Scarlet Crusade is a bunch of cheaters. Whitemane and Mograine have completely dominated their competition thus far. Reader predictions pit Whitemane and Mograine against Ozruk in the finals and that seems quite likely, but will Vanessa's interference ruin their chances of taking the tournament?
Mograine's toolkit includes:
"If I'm going to die, I'm taking you all with me." - Vanessa VanCleef
"..." - Cardboard Assassin
Vanessa VanCleef was knocked out in the first round of the Two Bosses Enter tournament by the Cardboard Assassin. How the heck did a piece of cardboard sign up for this tournament, anyway? Well, according to Vanessa, she was the one that entered him into the tournament as part of some dark plot, so it most certainly wasn't the author of the column that did it. Of course not. That would be stupid and dumb. Who would do something like that? Not me.
Vanessa is one tough cookie and the Cardboard Assassin has been able to ride the comedy vote thus far. Will the two of them be able to topple the Scarlet Duo, or will their personality conflict bring about an early demise for the corrugated god?
Vanessa VanCleef's toolkit includes:
- A taunt
- Immunity to mind-altering effects and substances
- He has a funny face
Ozruk is one of the few Cataclysm bosses that has truly found a place in the hearts of men. He has personality, he has power, and he has respect -- few bosses in this expansion can claim all three yet. Sure, maybe people like Lord Godfrey and Vanessa VanCleef will go down in WoW history as pretty awesome people, but Ozruk already has it in his stoney grip. The big man managed to take down Eregos, the previous Two Bosses Enter champion that has been ravaging his way across the tournament ever since.
Reader Naryn was not an Ozruk supporter, but I liked their rendition of the fight best.
Eregos as a female is a terrifying thought. She would have the deepest voice ever.
Ley-Guardian Eregos circled Coldarra in search of more prey coming her way, just as the Lord and Lady of the Deep had fallen before her when she spotted her next target; Ozruk.
Ozruk blinded by the brightness of Coldarra didn't see Eregos swoop in behind, her talons braced for an impact, the Ley-Guardian struck a abhorrent blow to Ozruk before he had time to prepare himself, Eregos screamed "You brash interlopers are out of your element! I will ground you!" However Ozruk took this time to prepare himself for Eregos' next attack, brutal as it was Ozruk's Elementium Bulwark took the brunt of Eregos' hit and turned it against her in a devastating counter-attack.
As Ozruk took the initiative he began to cast Ground Slam "None may pass the World's Heart" Eregos laughed at him, the power of the Earth was no match for her, "Such insolence should be punished" Enraged at Ozruk's clear contempt for her considerable power, Ozruk, unable to defend himself whilst Slamming into the ground took a mighty blow, but managed to keep himself up through the strength of his Earthern shields.
"Break yourself upon my body" he taunted Eregos with, instead of falling for the same trick twice, Eregos sent in her whelp to die for her, and went into a Phasar Shift, protecting her from his obvious shatter.
Ozruk became enraged, his attacks were useless he turned to face the whelps surrounding him and blinding him to the multitude of Planar Anomaly's surrounding him.
"A protector has fallen, The World's Heart lies exposed"
Eregos savours her victory briefly and begins her search for prey that might be.... more edible for her and her children.
The battle begins!
Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!
Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.