Last week was the debut of Cataclysm's second Two Bosses Enter season, featuring a showdown between High Priestess Azil and "Captain" Cookie. It was very exciting! No, really. It was. What, you don't like watching murlocs get crushed by giant boulders? Well, fine. Maybe this week's matchup between an automated can opener and a dead paladin turned death knight will be more to your liking.
|Foe Reaper 5000||2392 (53.9%)|
|Commander Springvale||2044 (46.1%)|
Follow along for the rules of the matchup, a review of what these bosses can do, and a discussion of last week's winner.
The rules of the ring
- The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
- Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
- All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
- Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
- Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
- Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
Foe Reaper 5000 online. All systems nominal.
Foe Reaper 5000 was not a Deadmines boss in classic WoW. His entry in Cataclysm puts him among the ranks of long-time iconic bosses such as Mr. Smite. Can he live up to the Deadmines legacy, or will he fade into obscurity?
The Foe Reaper's arsenal includes ...
Repel the intruders!
Commander Springvale is one of the few bosses who survived the heroic transition from vanilla WoW to Cataclysm, alongside "Captain" Cookie and Baron Silverlaine. Unfortunately, Commander Springvale became a death knight in that transition, proving beyond any shadow of doubt that Blizzard hates paladins.
That was a joke.
Commander Springvale's abilities include:
"Captain" Cookie took an early, dominating lead in last week's vote, but the tide eventually turned against him. Readers speculated that Cookie's cookpot may have been sturdy enough to withstand having enormous boulders dropped on it, but that defense didn't hold out. High Priestess Azil's stomach, however, held out quite well! She may need some time to sleep off a rough meal, but she'll be ready for action before her next round.
Some readers, such as Rymer, gave Cookie the win based on Vanessa VanCleef's notorious machinations:
Some people are asking how Cookie can win this. It's simple. Cookie works for Vanessa and after all the stuff she pulled last season I am guessing she bought Cookie a shiny new Truegold Cooking pot. Here is how I see it going down.
Azil enters seeing a cooking pot shining in the sunlight. "What is this, I thought this was a fight not a cooking show." From deep in the belly of the pot comes a sound unmistakeable. "Murrrggglegle!"
Cookie pops out and starts throwing food at Azil. "You stupid fish-frog!" she yells as she starts throwing rocks at Cookie. To her shock he ducks into his pot and the rocks bounce off leaving not even a dent in his new pot. It is a long drawn out fight with minons banging on pot and gravity wells trying to suck the pot into it. After hours a chicken bone hits Azil in the head and she goes down.
In the stands Vanessa just smiles.
Unfortunately, it was not to be. High Priestess Azil crushed Cookie underfoot. Vanessa must be so disappointed.
|High Priestess Azil||3326 (57.4%)|
The battle begins!
Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!
Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.