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This is your life if GLaDOS had control of your iPhone 4S


In many ways, Aldous Huxley was right -- our entertainment technology has made us a happily complacent species, imprisoned by our own electronic conformity mechanisms. George Orwell was also correct on a few theories of invasive government control. No one was more correct, however, than the great modern philosopher Erik Wolpaw and his overarching theses on Portal theory and lemons. Now, all of these dystopias have merged into one: GLaDOSiri on the iPhone 4S.

Apple's Siri system enables natural-language voice control for a myriad of uses on the iPhone 4S, and GLaDOSiri makes all of those so much more masochistic, just the way we like it. If this were a real thing, we'd be all over it like children on Soma.

Jess is a professional nerd, specializing in gaming, comics, journalism, rum and writing. Native to Arizona, she has had plenty of time to sit indoors, out of the extreme desert heat, and play a variety of tan-obliterating games – and then write bitter, pale reviews on them. Jess has written for online gaming outlets since 2008 and graduated from ASU's Walter Cronkite School of Journalism in 2011 with a degree in journalism, specializing in digital media.