AT&T's third quarter figures have shown that the network certainly has a handle on this "selling smartphones" malarkey. In the last three months, it's managed to ship 6.1 million smartphones, of which 4.1 million were iPhones -- which has helped the company to maintain a turnover of $31.5 billion, just $0.1 billion below the previous quarter. Notably, net profits tumbled to $3.6 billion, down from $6.8 billion in Q2, but that's easily explained away with a $3.8 billion share buyback scheme and the company's continued cost of building new LTE infrastructure. It's also managed to squirrel away $6.5 billion in cash under the mattress for a rainy day.
Digging into those numbers, it's been able to add a new 678,000 new wireless customers to its business, making a total of 105.9 million users on its network. 44.5 million of those people, or 63.8 percent of 'em, are now smartphone users, and AT&T said it had a "record sales quarter" with Android and Windows Phone handsets. It also coaxed 200,000 new U-verse TV subscribers and 613,000 high-speed internet users to sign up with Ma 'Bell. If you'd like to see Ralph de la Vega give you his personal take on the company's rosy financials, then head on past the break -- but be warned, at no point does he swim through a pool of money screaming "I'm king of the world!"