Alright, everyone. I warned you about the alien invasion. I broke out of my stasis pod. Now I'm here to update you on my escape progress. For awhile, things looked bad - the ship onto which I've been abducted is hopelessly labyrinthine, and it is most certainly not designed for bipedal mammals. Still, there is much that I've learned. For example: their species. I've discovered that the spider-banshee people of the Axmosium star cluster refer to one another as ... Spider-Banshees. I know, weird coincidence. They're also a technologically-inclined civilization, masters of not only space travel, but time travel.
Yes dear readers, I have discovered within this ship a time machine. With it, I plan to escape and save the world. There's a catch, though: a person can't travel back through time as themselves. Quantum physics won't allow someone to survive the leap. So when I make this ... "quantum jump" through the time vortex, I'll have to possess someone else's body. Only when I've accomplished this person's life goals and learned a valuable lesson will I be able to make another jump. Knock on wood - or whatever this thing's made of - my next leap will be the leap home.
Wish me luck, readers!
*You notice a list of webcomics after the transmission ends. Are these a secret code revealing where in time Sam Prell has gone? No. No, they're just webcomics. Vote for one after the break.*
Ctrl+Alt+Del (Console War, p25)
Critical Miss (Rusty Ethics)
Awkward Zombie (Claims Department)
Dorkly (DayZ-ed and Confused)
8BitGamer (Bricks & Stones)
ReadySoup (Dead Man Gawking) %Poll-86679%