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March 28th 2014 3:58 pm

What's the best name for a WiFi spot you've ever seen?

In Brooklyn there's a combination toy store/hair salon for children called LuLu's that charges $26 for a haircut. Now, if you find this idea reasonable or completely ridiculous, your reaction probably wasn't as severe as one of LuLu's neighbors, who has taken the time to name their wireless access point "LuLu's Anal Bleaching for Kids," making it such that anyone who happens to be in the vicinity with their WiFi turned on will see that in the list. Hopefully no one thinks it's legit, but it's still troubling to the owner of LuLu's, who has called Verizon, TWC, and even the police in an attempt to get rid of this nuisance.


I have sort of mixed feelings about this, but what is crystal clear is that it's now got me thinking about my favorite WiFi names I've seen over the years. There are the boring, but still geeky ones like "Skynet" and "Cerebro" (which belonged to a neighbor but I never figured out which one), the ones that warn you away like "noneofyourbusiness" or contain words I can't really print here, the clever ones like "Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wifi," and then once in a while the truly bizarre, offputting, way too personal, or outright disturbing ones, like "Fred's Nookie Shack" and "Craq Spot" (the latter also being in my building, which was unsettling because there were in fact reports of crack dealing in the area).

What strange WiFi names have you seen? Or does your own connection have a name you're particularly proud of and would like to share?

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59 replies

My personal favorite, though it's not mine, is "FBI Surveillance Van".

A runner-up, down the block from my parents: "getyourowndamninternet".

I'll make a goofier name for my home wifi when I connect all of my keyboardless devices over Ethernet. I'm simply too lazy to set them up all over again.
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Likewise! "FBI Surveillance Van" is my favorite.
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There is absolutely no competition here: Bill Wi The Science Fi.
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I use that for my g/b and I use Skynet for my n
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I live in a complex with tons of wireless networks, and I can't be bothered to scroll through them all on my devices. Especially the ones that only show 10 networks at a time. To make mine appear on top my network is called

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Poop Street
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That needs to be "21 Poop Street"
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"Tell my WiFi love her"
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Cache Rules Everything Around Me.
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Mine was "Pretty_Fly_For_A_WiFi" at one point. :)
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current neighbors' is 'bitch don't kill my wifi' a la kendrick lamar: https:­/­/www.youtube.com­/watch­?v­=GF8aaTu2kg0­&fe...
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When Moses Was In Egypt LAN
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My two favorites are Abraham Linksys and Wu Tang LAN.
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I briefly lived in New Jersey last year. First day in the apartment, as I went to connect to the random code Verizon assigned to my FiOS box, I discovered this gem:

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I'm currently using 'NSA.gov Free Public Wifi.'
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Mine is "Magical Internet Machine," which I particularly enjoy.

That said, I've seen some interesting ones from both friends and around my neighborhood:
  • Palace of Fine Farts
  • ItsASecret
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I've always named my wifi "The Force." I was really proud of it when I first thought of it. heh.
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I have 3 favs, 2 I use.

bluth frozen bananas
Galactica Actual
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Mine is "Its a trap!"
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Ku Klux Lan.
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There are plenty of networks in my building, and thankfully most of the people are creative (or not).

Mine: The One Who Knocks
Others: The Way is Shut, GUCCi EYELiDS, heldogheldogheldog44, and, my personal favorite Anustart.
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The owner of Anustart probably loves metal bands
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At my mom's I set her dual band names to Wi­-fi.Virus and Wi­-fi.Trojan
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Mine is IAmJacksWirelessAccessPoint
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My own creations... "click to refresh" and "network error"
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My old roommate's was "Umbrella Corp".
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I'm partial to BHDVNSN81928NAH.
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That's also my Gmail password.
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I can hear you having sex
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Mine is Pretty Fly For A Wifi as well.

In our street i once found 2 networks at one place.
One was named: "I can hear you having sex"
The other one was named: "We can't hear you having sex"
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Do you live near poster "ricpf" above? hmmmm....
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For a while I used MalwareTesting. Now I use THX1138 for G and HPlusNano for the N. Some neighbor down the street used to have one that was pretty offensive, causing me to have to apologize to people when they would ask to connect to my wifi and see the list. Haven't seen any clever ones lately.
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"Lick My Love Pump" near a coffee shop I frequent. It's a polarizer ... you're either offended at its vulgarity, or you laugh if you're a Spinal Tap fan. I'll bet it goes up to 11 too.
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Mine's Athena which is fitting since i name all my devices as greek mythos, never really ran into any funny ones myself tho
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When I moved in with my old roomies one of the previous roomies set up the wifi and ours was "I Fuck Your Wife While You're At Work".
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That would have to be my hotspot: Monkeys from space wearing tutus.
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Best I have seen is IAmUnderYourBed
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My favorite is 💩. Naturally, it is my favorite because it is mine.
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abraham linksys, NSA surveillance van, You Shall Not Pass(word), Wi So Fi?
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FBI surveillance van
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I used to live next to two people who hated each other with a passion, and got a good laugh when I saw "NeighborsLastName house of anal man love" pop up on my laptop one day. The neighbor being slagged was a technophobe who would have never figured it out.
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"Free wifi" but it.s password protected muwahahaha
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Somewhat evil. But in the spirit on 1-upsmanship, mine is "Mordor", and it appears to be an unprotected network. Any computer can connect to it...if they're on the pre-approved MAC address list. One does not simply connect to Mordor.
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Mine is NSA Surveillance Van #6. Original? Not really, but still awesome.
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It was ASCII art that looked like this: 8================> - - - - - - - - - -
*true story
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