"One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can't. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. The Hingefreel people of Arkintoofle Minor did try to build spaceships that were powered by bad news but they didn't work particularly well and were so extremely unwelcome whenever they arrived anywhere that there wasn't really any point in being there."
It won't work if it's Mac paper (white with an apple in the top right hand corner, embossed on 180 GSM uber deluxe matte paper), and you are using a Microsoft pencil. You need a special pencil sharpener to get the right angle of the pencil. And remember that the paper may not fit in a standard size envelope, you need the special Mac envelopes as well. And don't forget to open an ipost account, USPS won't deliver it unless you have one.
"By heating or doping the material with a variety of impurities, scientists from the London Center for Nanotechnology have found a way to propagate magnetic excitations over long chains of atoms in the otherwise magnetically disordered material. Armed then, with the ability to break the chains into independent sub-chains, each with it's own hidden order, scientists have taken the first step towards engineering spin-based quantum states from ceramics." WTF?
I guess we will just have to take their word for it, right?? Buzzwords = Funding = Fun 4 scientists
Tempting, but I'm gonna hold out until the release of the Super Mega Audio CD Asymmetric Sonic Solution format: S.M.A.C.D. A.S.S. Or the long anticipated "INSERT BUZZWORD HERE" CD format, you know it will be worth it...
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