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'The Orange Box' comes to Xbox One
It's been more than nine years since Half-Life 2: Episode Two came out and, yeah, that cliffhanger still stings. Thankfully, Microsoft's Larry Hryb has announced that The Orange Box is now available on the Xbox One via backwards compatibility. That gives everyone the chance to soften the blow of Valve's contempt for its audience by once again replaying five of the company's best games. The legendary bundle combines Half-Life 2, its two episodic sequels, Team Fortress Two and some rando game about physics puzzles that'll probably never take off. It's not just The Orange Box that's now available for your nostalgia, since Galaga Legions and Joe Danger 2: The Movie are also now available.
Team Roomba perfects the art of Team Fortress 2 griefing
As much as it pains us to be on the receiving end of online gaming skullduggery, we can't help but admire Team Roomba for elevating the practice to an art form. This ain't your Pap Pap's griefing; team-killing and name calling are far below the maleficent minds of Team Roomba. In their latest highlight reel from Team Fortress 2, they transform the doldrum process of respawning into a quiz show, where right answers put you back on the battlefield -- accidentally creating the most amazing supergenre we've ever witnessed: the Online Multiplayer First Person Shooter and Trivia Game (OMFPSaTG, for short).The video is safely contained after the jump, and is extremely NSFW due to foul language, blurry gay porn, and a number of Legends of the Hidden Temple references.(Thanks, Perko.)
Happy (Holiday Name Here) from Aperture Science
It's Christmas Eve Eve Eve, and most of the blue-collared work force has temporarily retired for a well-deserved holiday break -- but not Portal's schizophrenic digital antagonist, GLaDOS. It would seem that the hardest working woman in the AI business (Sorry, Cortana) will remain ever vigilant at her post during the holiday season, wishing visitors to the Aperture Science website good tidings of the greatest joy. As the camera pans across the holiday vault, revealing our Santa-hat-wearing jolly geometric friend and the ever promised pastry, carolers sing an enchanting rendition of Jonathan Coulton's "Still Alive". We won't blame you for getting a little misty -- nor will we judge you for wanting to share the Aperture holiday cheer with these darling Christmas cards. If only there was a card we could send to our family and friends, reminding them that they are androids, and that android hell is a real place where they will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Portal bucks masculine first person shooter trends
If you're in the mood for an thought-provoking read this Sunday afternoon, you should check out a recent article on Games Radar which dissects Portal's "feminist critique of the FPS genre." The essay describes how the game purposefully avoids many of the masculine trends with which shooters are often imbued -- for instance, the game's use of an anti-sensational female protagonist, or the way the game dispatches the game's cuboid male lead.Spoiler alert: Unavoidably, the essay takes a Freudian look at the key gameplay mechanic of the game, comparing a portal to a vajayjay. If you'd like to preserve your innocent opinion of the game, you might actually want to steer clear of this particular article. Fortunately, we're firm believers in the "sometimes a banana is just a banana" school of thought, lest we be subject to disturbing imagery next time we go traipsing through the Aperture Science building.
Jonathan Coulton sings Portal's 'Still Alive'
If you haven't gotten the note about Portal yet, well, it was a HUGE SUCCESS. We can't really overstate our satisfaction and for those who would like to hear the song from the finale sung by the original creator, Jonathan Coulton, we've got one video above and another after the break. Just to reiterate, the song does give away plot points -- but seriously, finish Portal already, it's done in an afternoon.The video above is from a concert in Atlanta and the one after the break is from the AT&T channel when they visited Coulton at his home studio in Brooklyn. Spoiler Alert: Oh, the AT&T people also feed Coulton cake, but there's something wrong with it -- and, no, it's not a lie.
Zero Punctuation likes Orange Box, but loves Portal
We've gotten used to the saucy Brit named Yahtzee hating whatever he reviews in his Zero Punctuation pieces for the Escapist; so imagine our surprise when a little ray of sunshine crept into the latest video (found after the break). This week Yahtzee tackles The Orange Box and generally seems dismissive of the whole thing -- except for Portal, which he loves. Yes, even ornery Yahtzee has sold out and is having a love-fest with the game, just like many on the Joystiq staff.Regarding Portal, the typically acid tongued Yahtzee says, "[Portal is] the most fun you'll have with your PC until they invent a force feedback codpiece." The Orange Box seems to have a little something for everyone, even for people like Yahtzee. Now how long will it be before the Portal theme song becomes a spontaneous geek sing-along anthem at every gaming convention?
X3F Achievements 101: The Way the World Ends
Welcome to another edition of the weekly Gamerscore whoring extravaganza, X3F Achievements 101. As usual, I'll discuss the latest in unlocking Achievements, or discuss any news that's especially pertinent to the Achievement obsessed. This week covers the painful to play, yet easy to complete Fuzion Frenzy 2, the near perfect list for Halo 3, and the just released Orange Box. All that and more is available after the break, so dive in.
Take a tour of the Team Fortress 2 maps
Alright, so we're beginning to understand the characters of Team Fortress 2, but what about their environment? In what sorts of places will we be wreaking havoc? A series of videos has been released giving a brief glimpse of each of Team Fortress 2's six maps: Hydro, Gravel Pit, Well, 2 Fort, Granary, and Dust Bowl. Unfortunately, all the videos are done in a grainy, almost black-and-white style that doesn't exactly mesh with YouTube. Hopefully we'll see some high resolution versions of these videos soon. Still, you can get an idea of the layout of each map and the game types available on them. We've embedded the rest of the videos after the break.
TF2 devs play cross-platform, but you won't
So, Shacknews posted a lengthy preview of Team Fortress 2. At first, everything was normal, no different than what we expected. Multiple classes, fun gametypes, cool maps, protestations that the Medic is fun to play: everything was copacetic. According to the review, Team Fortress 2 will not feature cross-platform play. That's all well and good, except Valve -- developer of the PC and Xbox 360 versions (EA UK is handling the PS3 version) -- "regularly play cross-platform multiplayer games." Why then, are we denied such pleasure? According to Valve's Doug Lombardi, it "introduces more problems than it is worth." He further notes that Valve would only implement cross-platform play in a title that was designed for it from the start.Ah well, looks like we'll have to be satisfied with fragging fellow 360 fanboys.[Via Joystiq]
Team Fortress 2 has a lot of class(es)
Game Informer recently got some hands on time with the upcoming Team Fortress 2, a new twist on a classic game, set to be included in the Half-Life 2 Orange Box along with Portal. Team Fortress 2 will include multiple player classes, ranging from the sneaky spy to the more-bullets-than-brains heavy weapons guy, and it looks like each class will actually play very differently. For instance, the Pryo, with his short range flame thrower, is perfect for tight quarters. The super speedy Scout, on the other hand, is the best choice for lightning fast recon and flag captures. Team Fortress 2 features several game types involving territorial control and, of course, capture the flag. On a slightly disappointing note, the game is set to ship with only 6 different maps. Also worth noting, only one map is set up for capture the flag at this point. Of course, this could change with the release of downloadable content, but it's still disappointing. All in all, the game looks like a great deal of fun. What's more, with so many character classes from which to choose, anyone should be able to find a niche that's actually fun to play (yes, even the Medic). Hit the "read" link to check out the full preview, including a breakdown of every character class and their respective loadouts.
Electronic Arts' GDC game lineup
Among other things, EA is bringing some pretty big guns to GDC in March. They'll be speaking about Sims on the Wii, seeking new IPs and other stuff. Aside from those, though, the following are listed as confirmed to show up: Crysis Hellgate: London Mercenaries 2: World in Flames The Orange Box (this has Half-Life 2: Episode 2, Portal and Team Fortress 2 in it) Oh, did we mention? These won't be on the show floor. Seems they're only for super-secret, special people. Oh well. We're sure stuff will get leaked about them no matter who is or isn't allowed.
