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The Road to Mordor: A conspiracy of hats
The hat, as they say, makes the man. Or the woman. Or the Dwarf. Unfortunately, in Lord of the Rings Online, the hat often makes the man completely silly. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but the hats in LotRO have garnered the reputation as being goofy as all get out. Sure, this is hardly a fresh observation, but I've wanted to address it in this column for a while now, so it might as well be today! Rumor has it that Turbine's artists drew upon actual medieval outfits to lend an authentic, renaissance faire vibe to the game. This is perhaps why there is such a distinct fashion style in LotRO that you don't see in other MMOs. Our modern sensibilities, with such fashion achievements as tank tops and crocs, make hauberks and codpieces seem quaint and ridiculous. Truly, we are seeing the height of human civilization in 2010. So while it's laudable that Turbine tried to give us the real deal, that doesn't quite excuse the fact that many of the hats -- especially the light armor versions -- are unbearably weird. It's as if, as The Pix'led Life speculated, there's a conspiracy of hats afoot: "Let's see what we can make them swallow!" one artist cackles. "Ooh, I know -- how about 16 varieties of dunce hats?" laughs another. I kid, I kid. There are 17. Hit the jump and let's take a terrifying journey through headgear that seeks to conquer Sauron by making the Enemy laugh himself to death.
Hyperspace Beacon: We hope this never makes it into SWTOR, but knowing our luck, it probably will, again
Tweet var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/pc_games/Hyperspace_Beacon_We_hope_this_never_makes_it_into_SWTOR'; Like a kowakian monkey-lizard in heat, Larry Everett is back again with another edition of your guide to EA-BioWare's yet-to-be-released game Star Wars: The Old Republic. Welcome to the Hyperspace Beacon. Every once in awhile, the Star Wars universe produces the strangest plot devices or game items. Some of these concoctions should never see the light of day, but unfortunately, they do. I like to highlight these malformed ideas in a segment of the Hyperspace Beacon called "We hope this never makes it into SWTOR, but, knowing our luck, it probably will" or WHTNMIISWTORBKOLIPW, for short. This week's column revolves around the prequels. Although there are many, many, many things wrong with the prequels, I would like to take a look at some of the highlights. To help those who may not know what is being discussed, I will give you a brief explanation of what each item is, then explain what is wrong with it, and follow that with a humorous explanation of how BioWare will ruin SWTOR by implementing it in our beloved game. Let's see what creative blunders we have in store this week.
