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Phat Loot Phriday: Hood of Disgrace
Throgg and the druid sat around a campfire. Turkey roasted on a spit, and the worgen sipped quietly from his tea cup. "I will give this much to your Warchief," the druid said, flipping a piece of cloth in his hands. "The Hood of Disgrace will be an elegant message." "It's not going to go well," Throgg said. He stabbed the ground aimlessly with his knife. "The Grimtotem will see this message and make a new message out of me. Magatha will not let this stand. They will wish to punish me." "Us," the druid said. "Me," Throgg said with an unmistakable tone of finality. "And Garrosh gave you no indication about why? What could have happened to bring orc and tauren relationships this far?" "I can't be sure," Throgg responded. "But I do not think that this is all tauren. I think this is just Grimtotem. Well. If this is how it is it to be, I will kill many Grimtotem before I die." Hood of Disgrace Type: Cloth Head Armor: 90 Stamina: 14 Intellect: 9 How to get it: Complete the Grimtotem chiefs quest line in Thousand Needles. How to get rid of it: It sells for some silver. Or, alternatively, you hand it to a Grimtotem, who is highly likely to be unhappy with you. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Amani Battle Bear
Lolegolas looked over the ruins of Zul'Aman. Sunlight reflected in prisms from the poisoned water like a rainbow sheen covering an oil slick. He felt sick to his stomach. "This was necessary, wasn't it?" Lolegolas asked quietly. He briefly tried to count the number of bodies pierced by his own arrows but quickly stopped. He didn't want to know. "They were your own people." "No longer, mon," Vol'jin said. "And you needed something special if you'll enter the Grimtotem camps. Something more than a pretty bird. You need a steed who will fight as hard as you, if you will save your man's life." "Is he still alive, then?" Lolegolas wondered. "It's not too late." "You've not much time, but this will aid you," the big troll responded. He held the reins to a massive bear, covered in troll armor. It snarled viciously, but the bear abated its growl when Vol'jin scratched its ear. "It is an Amani Battle Bear, maybe de only t'ing to come out of this place that's worthwhile." "Well, then," Lolegolas said, bounding on to the bear's back. He took the reins from the troll leader and swiftly turned the bear around. "We will ride like the win. Throgg will know I'm coming, and I'm not going to let him down." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Gorehowl
Throgg sat waiting in Orgrimmar. It had been a long time since the big orc had visited the capital city of his people, so he was understandably nervous. The druid reclined on the floor. A few orcs had commented on Throgg's "kitty," but they all seemed to take the feline at face value. "Pardon, friend," Throgg said to a nearby officer. "Any idea how long it will be? I don't mean to rush, but I have this friend I left behind ... " "LOK'TAR!" the orc roared in response. "AKA MA'BLOOD AND GLORY!" Throgg blinked in response and looked back down at his companion. "I think I know why Garrosh want to see me. Did you know I wield Gorehowl?" For his part, the druid looked at Throgg with an expression that could be interpreted as something between I don't care, I will destroy all your furnishings and Do continue, I would love to hear about your loot. Throgg chose the latter interpretation. "I got it from this demon in Kirzhan ... Karastan ... a wizard's tower," Throgg said. "Replaced it in Northrend, but still. I use it for cucumbers and sausage, now. Methinks Garrosh is upset about that." The door to the waiting room blew open, and Garrosh's secretary appeared. "LOK'TAR LOK OGAR LOK'TAR," the orc explained. "BLOOD AND ASHES AND GLORY. FOR THE HORDE!" "That means Garrosh is ready to see me now," Throgg translated for the worgen-kitty. "Also, they'd like to know if you want some milk. I'll tell them no."
Phat Loot Phriday: Miniature Voodoo Mask
Vol'jin was a big troll, Lolegolas thought. The blood elf wasn't thinking about the kind of big troll who stood in Orgrimmar's street corner yelling, "Why is it called Invincible when you can see it?" No, Vol'jin was big as in "huge," "gargantuan," and "oh my god, not my face." "What you be doin' here, mon? Not many Sin'dorei be visiting the fishbowl," the troll chief asked. "I'm enjoyin' my water pipe. Mmm, water." The blood elf had to try a couple of times to speak because he kept coughing through the thick smoke. "Garrosh has sent for my friend Throgg. I don't know why, but I need your help. I want to know what's going on." Vol'jin crouched so that he could look Lolegolas in the eye. "And why would I be helpin' you, blonde elf? You're Horde, and I give you that, but you not great friend to trolls." "I brought munchies," Lolegolas said. From the look on the troll's face, Lolegolas knew he had Vol'jin right where he wanted him. With a flourish of his wrist, Lolegolas produced a Miniature Voodoo Mask. The blood elf clasped the mask to his heart, closed his eyes tightly, and clicked his heels together three times. Suddenly, three gnomes stood in the hut in front of Vol'jin. Lolegolas couldn't make our their expressions behind the thick, wooden masks they wore; from the way the gnomes shuffled about, though, he could clearly tell they were anxious. "Dis pleases me," Vol'jin said. "I will help you, little elf." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Grips of Unerring Precision
"These gloves are pretty good," Lolegolas said. He flexed his fist, watching as the mail armor stretched across his knuckles. "I need to see how I shoot while wearing them, though. Good armor is meaningless if I can't shoot. But I suppose they call them the Grips of Unerring Precision for a reason." Throgg stood from the table and walked over to the corkboard. Using a steel nail, he affixed the paper against the wall. The orc's shoulders slumped in despair as he read the paper. Even the worgen noticed and closed his book to pay attention. "Throgg, what is it? What's wrong?" Lolegolas asked. "It's a summons," Throgg said, tapping the paper once for emphasis before walking toward the inn's door. "From Warchief Hellscream. I must go. And I must go alone, though I may bring mounts and pets." Lolegolas dropped his hands to his side. "Now? Are you ..." "It's the new Warchief," Throgg interrupted, already standing in the hallway. "He's not a reasonable orc. If I delay ... well. I'll be back as quickly as I can. I'm ... sorry, little elf. I have to go. Do not follow, or Hellscream may well kill us for disobedience." Lolegolas watched the door shut, unblinking.
Phat Loot Phriday: Branch of Nordrassil
Throgg waggled a long stick in front of the worgen. "C'mon, doggy. You can do it. You can fetch it!" Putting his entire body into the throw, Throgg hurled the stick down the hill. The branch bounced a few times before falling into the waters of Booty Bay. Lolegolas rounded the corner just in time to see the splash. "By Amy Pond's flawless skin!" the blood elf exclaimed in a gasp. "Throgg! What the ... why would you ... " For his part, the worgen druid simply sipped from a teacup (pinky properly extended) and turned the page of his book. Throgg blinked. "What? It was just a stick!" "That was a Branch of Nordrassil," Lolegolas yelled. "It's part of a quest to get a legendary weapon! And you were trying to use it as a fetch stick?" The druid blinked as he, once again, turned a page. "If it helps, I had no interest in chasing it." "Shut up, Spot!" the blood elf shrieked. "My name's not Spot." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Collar of Bones
The worgen was crouched low to the ground, his front lips raised in a mild snarl. "I don't mean to be rude," he said, "but if you try and put that collar on me, you'll pull back a bloody nub." Throgg sighed as he waved the Collar of Bones at the druid. "But, Spot, you don't understand. This is from a troll place, and you obviously like those. And it's a collar of bones. I thought you guys loved bones." Lolegolas quietly drank another shot of brandy. "My name is not Spot," the worgen said calmly. "And I will not play the straight man for you comedic pair of ... ruffians." "Ha!" Throgg exclaimed. "Ruffians! I get it! You're a clever dog! Who's a clever dog? You are!" Lolegolas refilled his glass and quickly downed yet another shot. "I recognize that's an exemplary caster hat," the worgen said. "But I only wear leather, right? Despite its critical ability and aid to hit, I lose too much wearing it. Like my dignity." "Only leather, huh?" Throgg thought. "We used to be like that, too." Lolegolas simply fell out of his chair. %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: The Savager's Mask
The worgen was clearly drunk, but at least it seemed to be sleeping soundly. "And you say, this was the puppy you had in mind?" Lolegolas asked. The blood elf had the urge to poke the sleeping werewolf with a stick, but he fought it down without much trouble. "Let me be clear here, though. Did you strap the tusks on him, or did he come that way?" "He was walking out of that practically new troll area," Throgg said. "There is no Zul, only Aman. Or something like that." Lolegolas pushed a slender hand through his hair. "While I salute your mastery of pop culture references, don't you think raising a worgen would be a lot of work? From the look of that headpiece, this druid's clearly feral. We don't have much room in our flat." "He did seem pretty agile," Throgg answered. "I just figured since he was wearing a troll-themed Savager's Mask, he might be a little more orc-friendly. And it's so macho-sounding!" "What? I don't even ... " Lolegolas started, but he was quickly interrupted. "Rawr!" Throgg growled, pantomiming claws in the air. "I'm so savage. Rawr!" "You do understand you're throwing our whole role assignments into confusion," Lolegolas said. "Who's the tank? Maybe if we tame him, he'll heal. Then we can have a proper instance group."
Phat Loot Phriday: Helm of the Blind Seer
"I just think it's a contradiction," Throgg said. "That's all." "If you bring up Starburst, so help me ... " Lolegolas threatened. Throgg wrinkled his brow. "No. It's just that the Helm of the Blind Seer is odd. It's great for spell druids, I guess, but it's an obvious contradiction." "You mean a blind seer? But that makes sense. It's a metaphor, an allegory. Like all 'I'm blind but I can see the future.' The kids love that stuff." "Uh, no," Throgg replied. "It's that it's a helm. Shouldn't it be like a bandage, or maybe spectacles, or goggles, or something? And it's not even much of a helm. It's like some feathers glued together and lit up by a blacklight. Druids are all ravers nowadays." "It's the mushrooms, man," Lolegolas sighed. "Mushrooms are bad news." Helm of the Blind Seer Type: Head, Leather Armor: 1,356 Stamina: 512 Intellect: 281 Spirit: 228 Equip: Increases your critical strike rating by 168 (0.94% @ L85) 1 Red Socket How to get it: Get 9 to 24 friends together and defeat the blind dragon, Atramedes. How to get rid of it: You can vendor this stack of feathers for 12 gold, 91 silver, and 46 copper. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Unheeded Warning
"You can't say we didn't warn him," Throgg said. He was polishing Lolegolas's sword, giving the blood elf a chance to rest. "And you know what happened with an Unheeded Warning." "It gets put on the auction house because it's really only useful to a few specific specs?" Lolegolas asked gamely, looking up from where he reclined on the couch. "Like enhancement shaman and feral druids?" "What?" Throgg blinked, staring intently at Lolegolas. "Is this some kind of joke to you?" Lolegolas sat up. "Throgg? What's on your mind?" "You nearly died, little belf," Throgg said. "What would I do with myself? You must be more careful in the future."
Phat Loot Phriday: Reclaimed Ashkandi
The Reclaimed Ashkandi, Greatsword of the Brotherhood, hung limp in Throgg's hand. A weapon of great strength, suitable to the critical act of vengeance, the sword glinted over the slain dragon. Throgg was sated. He was at peace. He finally felt calm, as if he'd spent the great rage to bring down Nefarian's home. He jumped when a small hand gripped his shoulder. He didn't yelp, though. Not even a little bit. If someone heard a yelp, it was clearly a mistake. "By the great Metzen's whiskers," Lolegolas gasped. "What went on in here?" "Little chum!" Throgg shouted, crushing the elf in a spontaneous bear hug. "You're back!" "I told you I needed a moment away," Lolegolas replied, sliding down. "I had to use the bathro -- Did you kill Nefarian?" Throgg toed the ground with a foot. "I thought you were dead. Like, for real. Permanently." Lolegolas issued a soft, low whistle. "Nerf orcs. Seriously. Orcs need nerfing." Reclaimed Ashkandi, Greatsword of the Brotherhood Type: Two-Handed Sword Damage: 1,894 - 2,843 Damage (623.3 damage per second) Speed: 3.80 Strength: 341 Stamina: 512 Equip: Increases your hit rating by 228 Equip: Increases your critical strike rating by 228 How to get it: Kill Nefarian. If you happen to be a vaguely plate-wearing orc, it seems to help to leave the blood elf AFK. How to get rid of it: You can sell it for 43 gold, 5 silver, and 72 copper. Or turn it into a Maelstrom Crystal. %Gallery-96786% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Rage of Ages
Nefarian looked up from his dinner, cocking a manicured eyebrow at a distant sound. Somewhere beyond his chambers, the Blackwing Descent shook on its bones. Something -- someone -- was killing Nefarian's people. "People" was a relative term, of course, but they were dying readily enough. "Sir," Nefarian's wyrm-servant said. "Chimaeron's dead, and it seems Atramedes isn't long for this world." The dragon in human form removed his napkin from his shift and laid it upon the table. "I should prepare myself for these guests, then, I suppose." "Guest, sir," the little red whelping corrected. "It's just one." "One?" Nefarian asked in a shocked voice. "An orc, sir. He seems very, very angry. I've chosen this necklace for you to wear into battle tonight." "Rage of Ages," Nefarian said. "He's that wrathful, is he?" "He simply keeps screaming, 'I say thee nay!' and 'Throgg smash!'" Rage of Ages Type Neck Strength 190 Stamina 286 Equip Increases your hit rating by 127 Equip Increases your mastery rating by 127 %Gallery-96786% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Akirus the Worm-Breaker
Lolegolas lay still in Throgg's arms. Burn wounds covered the blood elf's face and shoulders; it smelled like charred meat to Throgg's indelicate senses. The orc rested his friend's body on the ground carefully, tugging Lolegolas's mail armor back into order as he did so. Throgg's eyes moved slowly back to the dragonkin guarding Blackwing Descent. With a low growl rumbling deep in his chest, like thunder hidden behind the distant mountains, the orc stood. The orc's hand gripped Akirus the Worm-Breaker so tightly that it seemed his plate gauntlets would bend and mold to the mace's shape. "My friend and I," Throgg said in carefully measured words, "took this weapon of great strength and mastery from the corpse of Magmaw. We pried that worm's jaw open with my bare hands and his expert eye." Throgg took one step forward, lifting the weapon to fight. "You might imagine that which I'm about to do to you." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Lord Rottington's Pressed Wisp Book
"Throgg! You're reading," Lolegolas gasped. "I didn't know you could read! What book is that?" Throgg held up the blue tome with careful reverence. "It's Lord Rottington's Pressed Wisp Book. I'm not sure, but I think it's by Brian Froud and Terry Jones." Lolegolas took a seat next to his friend. "Well, that was Lady Cottington -- but pretty close. This is amazing. Who knew wisps could be so interesting, if you smoosh them right?" Throgg nodded. "It's my favorite book. Okay, my only book. It makes me feel smarter and masterful. I are pleased." Lord Rottington's Pressed Wisp Book Type: Off-hand Stamina: 191 Intellect: 127 Spirit: 91 Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 74 How to get it The book is created with Inscription. How to get rid of it The book sells for 14 silver or disenchants into a Small Heavenly Shard. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Very Manly Staff
Throgg's ears perked, flicking back and forth almost like a curious dog. The canine impression was enhanced by the way the orc cocked his head to the side. "What is that, Lolegolas?" The thing in the blood elf's hands was ridiculously huge, with spikes jutting from its head. "This is the Very Manly Staff." "I can see that," Throgg replied. "But, uh, you can't use it." "I know," Lolegolas said. "Caster weapon. But, still, it's goes absolutely wonderfully with my stuff, don't you think? Maybe I can just kind of ... saunter ... around Silvermoon with it. Show it off." "Or you could get a real weapon," Throgg countered. "Yes, but it wouldn't be so damned manly. This staff is clearly longer and manlier than your average staff." "This means you're no longer allowed to say one word about my gun, you know that, right?" %Gallery-96786% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Crossfire Carbine
"Back to hunter life, huh?" Throgg asked nonchalantly. "Mmmhmm," the blood elf agreed. Lolegolas sat on a barstool using an oiled rag to clean the chamber of his massive gun. The weapon was incredibly masculine, covered in duct tape and saw blades. "We need to talk," Throgg said, sitting down next to his friend. He rested a massive hand on the elf's shoulders. "The Crossfire Carbine ... it's not what you think it is. There's something you should know." Lolegolas cocked an eyebrow at the orc, tilting his head slightly to the side. "It's an immense DPS increase, is what it is. What's to know about that?" "It's not for hunters," Throgg commiserated. "It has a lot of strength. It's only a hunter weapon in the sense that it's a 'hunter weapon,' you know?" "Oh, dear," Lolegolas responded, massaging his temples. "Here we go again." Crossfire Carbine Binds when equipped Type: Gun Damage: 1,309 - 2,432 (623.3 damage per second) Speed: 3.00 Strength: 107 Stamina: 161 Equip: Increases your expertise rating by 72 Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 72 How do you get it: It drops from trash mobs in the Bastion of Twilight. How do you get rid of it: You can sell this fine piece of machinery for 25 gold, 26 silver, and 25 copper. %Gallery-33600% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Cerith Spire Staff
"I want to be a laser chicken!" Throgg insisted. "You're an orc," Lolegolas insisted, lowering himself to recline on the lounge chair. "You can't even be a druid, let alone be a moonkin." Throgg growled. "I want to be a battle chicken! Look at this staff! It's awesome. I don't want it to go to waste. It's got way too much hit and haste for it to be vendor trash." "Well," Lolegolas commented. "At least it has fins. If you're going to school, you can look the part." Cerith Spire Staff (heroic) Type: Staff Stamina: 454 Intellect: 302 Equip: Increases your hit rating by 202 (1.97% @ L85) Equip: Increases your haste rating by 202 (1.58% @ L85) Equip: Increases spell power by 1,732 How to get it: Get four heroic capable friends together and kill The Festering Prince. How to get rid of it: The staff sells for 32 gold, 29 silver, and 72 copper. %Gallery-96786% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Burgy Blackheart's Handsome Hat
"Oh my god, Throgg," Lolegolas gasped. "What have you done to yourself?" "It's me hat! It is, specifically, Burgy Blackheart's Handsome Hat!" the ex-orc exclaimed. The orc had changed. Where once stood a powerful, green example of the Horde now swaggered a chest-high pirate gnome. "I'm a sword-swinging gnave! A scoundrel of epic proportions! Ready to raid the gnomeland and leave gno man standing!" Lolegolas sighed, and sat down in the middle of the street. "I'm going gnowhere until you go back to normal." Burgy Blackheart's Handsome Hat Type: Head Equip: Succumb to the curse of Burgy Blackheart. How to get it: It drops from Burgy Blackheart himself, Captain of Diane's Fancy, in Shimmering Expanse. Burgy's a rare spawn, though, so it'll take some careful camping to get it. How to get rid of it: We're not quite sure what it disenchants into or even if it sells. No one's done so yet that we know of. Who'd want to give up such an awesome item? [Thanks to Debesun for the tip!] Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Band of Bees
"You're serious?" Lolegolas asked his friend. "A deadly bee weapon." Throgg shook his head as he flipped the ring around in his hand. "A ring, really, though it's a great damage item for people who use strength in combat. It's even got a little magic to help your mastery of combat and get you moving a little faster." "Bees," Lolegolas said again, his voice dripping with shock. "My god." "I think it's time to put it on," Throgg said. He swallowed. "We few. We happy few. We band of honey-based flying bugs. We Band of Bees." "No!" Lolegolas gasped, wrapping his fingers around the orc's hand. "Not the bees! Please, not the bees!" Band of Bees Type: Ring Strength: 190 Stamina: 286 Equip: Increases your haste rating by 127 Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 127 How to get it: You can pick up the Band of Bees for a mere 1,250 valor points. How to get rid of it: The Band of Bees sells for 5 gold, 34 silver, and 34 copper. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Haunt of Flies
"I'm not wearing it," Lolegolas said. "It's just not happening." "But you're a spell guy now," Throgg countered. "You cast spells and stuff. Like, lightning bolts and fireballs. Magic missile. You're very impressive, and this is a very impressive cloak." "Throgg, look at it," Lolegolas said, waving a dismissive hand at the cape in question. "There's a reason it's called the Haunt of Flies. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it. I must have been drawn in by its critical strike rating and impressive haste." "Not to mention," Throgg said, "the impressive intelligence and stamina boost it gives you." Lolegolas cocked an eye at his friends. "How very exposition-like of you. Thank you." "I've got to haunt it to you," Throgg joked. "Time flies when you're having fun!" Haunt of Flies Type Back Armor 625 Stamina 286 Intellect 190 Equip Increases your critical strike rating by 127 Equip Increases your haste rating by 127 How to get it You can by it from your faction's valor point vendor for 1,250 valor points. To put that in perspective, that's 18 daily heroic random dungeons. How to get rid of it You can sell it to a vendor for 10 gold, 74 silver, and 79 copper. %Gallery-96786% Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
