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The Perfect Ten: Why Elves are the scourge of MMOs
Astute readers of Massively or my personal blog Bio Break are probably quite familiar with my blatant prejudice against all things Elf. I hate Elves and everything for which they stand. And nowhere does this hatred blossom more brightly than in the fertile fields of MMOs. As the axiom goes, where there is fantasy, there are Elves. Blame J.R.R. Tolkien for popularizing a race of what used to be cookie and Santa helpers. Almost overnight Elves became in vogue in geek culture, and efforts to root them out with flamethrowers have been in vain. Any fantasy MMO that is announced is required, by some arcane law that can only be broken with the blood of a virgin god, to include Elves as a racial choice -- or, if the developers are feeling particularly sadistic, more than one choice. Wood, night, blood, dark, light, mystical -- take your pick. There are plenty of Elves for everyone! Well, I'm not having it. Elves don't get a free pass on my watch, and I'm not afraid to stand up to the powerful Pro-Elf lobby and nail my 10 theses as to why Elves suck on the doors of this blog. Consider your pointy ears on notice, you woodland freaks -- the jig is up!
The Game Archaeologist and the What Ifs: Middle-earth Online
I had so much fun walking down the halls of "What if?" last week that I thought I'd keep the streak going for the rest of the month (if you'll allow for some summertime indulgence). It's not that I necessarily wanted MMO history to turn out differently than it did, but it's always tantalizing to wonder what the field would look like with different games out there. Would they have proven more popular than our current crops? Would they have pushed the envelope of innovation? Of course, it's easy to project greatness onto never-released titles, bemoaning that "if only MMO X had launched, we would've had the perfect game!" What ifs are interesting but should never be taken as absolute fact. This week I wanted to look at a project that's related to an MMO near and dear to my heart. As most of you know, I'm somewhat of a Lord of the Rings Online nut here at Massively. Sure, the rest of the staff is upset that I smoke pipeweed inside and never wear shoes, but that's just how far I go to understand the game. But even my LotRO isn't immune to a massive what if. Known to some but not to all, Turbine wasn't the first MMO studio to take a crack at Tolkien's license -- no, for that we have to travel back to 1998 and revisit Sierra On-Line. It was this company that had a brief but memorable run designing Middle-earth Online, aka "What if LotRO had permadeath?" It's a fascinating glimpse into an entirely different approach to the IP, and even though it died a fairly early death, it's important to be remembered. Frodo lives!
