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God particle. The Champagne bottle boson. Non-existon. Mysteron. The Higgs boson particle is certainly known by a lot of names, and now we can add another to the list: rock god. The UK's Science and Technology Facilities Council has created \"LHCsound: the sound of science.\" It's a series of (confus

4 years ago 0 Comments
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Hey, now, this is some great news, right? The trouble-plagued Large Hadron Collider looks to be doing a bang up job in some of its primary tasks. After breaking the energy record previously held by the Tevatron particle accelerator back at the end of November, 2009, reports are now coming in that t

4 years ago 0 Comments
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In an increasingly unsurprising turn of events, the Large Hadron Collider suffered a major power failure this morning, knocking the machine and its website out of service. The failure occurred in an 18,000-volt power line in Meyrin, Geneva where the LHC is housed beneath the ground, causing pretty

5 years ago 0 Comments
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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that most epic triumph of human engineering and physics research has finally taken place, and strangely enough our planet's still in one piece too. The search for the Higgs boson particle resumed yesterday, somewhere under the Franco-Swiss border, with the CERN research t

5 years ago 0 Comments
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\"We have captured it! First circulating beam of 2009!\" And with that tweet, researchers at CERN announced that they did in fact activate the Large Hadron Collider, after quite a long delay and despite warnings of a looming, nefarious Higgs boson. Whether or not we will have had total destruction as

5 years ago 0 Comments
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After a series of setbacks, delays, and potential world-ending mishaps, it seems that the scientists at CERN have decided to take it easy with the Large Hadron Collider, and have announced that they plan to operate it at an energy of 3.5 TeV (or trillion electron volts) per beam when they start it

5 years ago 0 Comments
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If you were enjoying these warmer months, taking time away from terrestrial black hole spotting due to the continued deactivation of CERN's Large Hadron Collider, feel free to extend those summer vacation plans a little bit. The particle crasher and supposed non-threat to life as we know it was pre

5 years ago 0 Comments
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Oh, bollocks! When CERN's Large Hadron Collider started up this past September, we figured it was only a matter of time before the world as we knew it imploded. Thus, we did as any reasonable group of individuals would do and evaporated our life savings before being beamed up. Now, we're stuck wait

5 years ago 0 Comments
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Is it possible that shoddy workmanship has once again saved the planet from an untimely demise? Not really, but this next tale should give our paranoiac readers plenty to mull over regardless. CERN has recently released pics of damage wrought when an electrical fault caused a liquid helium leak a m

6 years ago 0 Comments
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Contrary to popular belief, the world as we know it didn't implode after the Large Hadron Collider was flipped on. Sure -- someone, somewhere is growing a ninth arm and trying desperately to land a cameo on Fringe, but the planet at large is still humming along just fine. Now, the world's most gino

6 years ago 0 Comments