Like a vivid fever-dream Michael Bay might have after a night of pounding Sparks, this video of our nation's darkest hour and greatest triumph will have you screaming for a sequel. Confirming our belief that the out-of-control spy satellite which the Navy shot out of the sky in February really did contain a planet-destroying plague of zombie juice and / or Aliens, this roller coaster ride of a film retells the whole drama -- replete with swelling strings and in-your-face rage rock. Enjoy the epic video after the break, as well as a recap of our extensive coverage of the event, and rest easy knowing that once again great disaster has been averted... or has it?

[Via Wired]

Sure, it's one thing to hear about that satellite getting blown to bits, but there's nothing like cold, hard video evidence to really cement our belief in the Navy's extreme skill at hitting fast moving objects in space with huge missiles. Yes -- the video is grainy and hard to make out, but if you can't tell how bad we blew that thing out of the sky... well maybe you're not looking hard enough. See it all go down (literally) after the break.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

Just like the Navy told us, they shot that nasty satellite out of the sky with the kind of laser-like precision they've been claiming they're capable of for years. At right around 10:30 this evening, expensive missiles were fired from the deck of the USS Lake Erie, traveling into space at an excess of 5,000mph, which then slammed into the Alien / zombie-juice / Russian controlled satellite (which itself was traveling at 17,000mph). Right now details are still sketchy on just how much damage was done to the object, but word on the street (aka, from the Navy) is that just about any hit to the satellite would put it out of our misery, due to the speed and trajectory at which it's traveling. The story is still developing, so if any of the zombie spore does manage to reach Earth and spark an undead holocaust, we'll be the first to let you know.

Sure, it seemed like the Pentagon had things wrapped up when they told us that they'd be aiming their rockets skyward and blasting that pesky zombie-spore and / or Alien-carrying satellite out of the sky. Of course, they failed to tell us the price: sixty million dollars. What seemed at first to be a simple game of Missile Command has become an extensive military operation, involving modified rockets and control systems, hundreds of industry experts and scientists, as well as the Aegis sea-defense cruiser accompanied by two destroyers. The Navy will wait until the space shuttle lands next Wednesday before beginning operations, and they say they're fully prepared to bring W.O.P.R. online if anything goes wrong. The kicker? They'll probably miss.

[Thanks, Laura]

Update: Apparently Russia is calling the whole operation a cover for the US government to test out a new anti-sat tactical missile system. Ok, we wouldn't rule that option out, but it's not like the concept of shooting down satellites is so revolutionary, right? We mean, haven't governments been capable of blowing up satellites for decades, now? Thanks, Mukul.

We already knew that pigskin fanatics in 223 countries would be able to catch Super Bowl XLII this Sunday, but thanks to Raytheon's Global Broadcasting Service (GBS), even sailors and Marines stationed aboard ships in the Pacific Ocean will be able to catch the Giants attempt to mar the Patriots' currently unblemished record. The aforementioned technology has been in use for over a decade delivering "high-speed, multimedia broadcasts of mission critical information to military and government decision makers," but this weekend, it'll be used to bring home entertainment to folks far, far away from home. Sadly, it doesn't sound like the broadcast will be in HD this go 'round, but we suppose any football is better than none at all, right?

[Via DailyWireless, image courtesy of ProJo]

While the idea of an autonomous flying military bot is far from new, the US Navy has taken a first step toward "developing an unmanned combat aircraft that some advocates say could compete with Lockheed Martin's F-35 joint strike fighter." Northrop Grumman was awarded a $636 million contract to design, build, and fly an Unmanned Combat Air System "that would operate from the decks of the Navy's giant nuclear-powered aircraft carriers," and if things goes as planned, we could see the gunners join our forces "within 10 to 15 years." And considering that we're already deploying land-based mechanical soldiers to fire our weapons, we'd say the full-fledged robotic army is certainly closing in.

[Image courtesy of DefenseTech, thanks Jason]

It looks like the Navy's Office of Naval Research dipping its toes into the oft-explored business of eye-tracking, with a recent patent application revealing plans for some magnetic contact lenses designed to aid fighter pilots and others in need of a hands-free control option. According to NewScientist, the system consists of a magnetic sensor that's attached to side of an individual's head, which picks up changes in the magnetic field caused by the wearer's contact lenses -- those then get sorted out to determine exactly how the person's eyes are moving. As NewScientist points out, one of the big advantages of this system (as opposed to other methods of eye-tracking) is that it can work regardless of the person's head orientation, lighting conditions, or anything blocking the person's eyes, such as goggles or glasses, hence its appeal for fighter pilots. Lets just hope things don't go too haywire when one of the contacts falls out.

Apparently not content with having bees do all the dirty work of sniffing out bombs, the Navy is now seeking proposals for methods of actually predicting where bombs will be placed. According to Wired's Danger Room, the Office of Naval Research is looking for both "theoretical and technical approaches," which would not only allow for the prediction of bomb placements, but give them the ability to identify and localize bomb makers, predict changing threat tactics, and track the components being used in bomb assembly, among other feats of prognostication. On the technical side of things, the Navy's apparently has a keen interest in "advanced sensor networks," which would automatically detect when a bomb has been placed, allowing them to neutralize 'em with minimal human involvement. Those looking to get in on the action better act fast though, as proposals are due July 20th.

The Army's FireScout robotic helicopter passed its engine tests today, marking another step on the road for the US armed forces to move away from the sort-of-cute "RC car with a big gun" school of military robotics to the sort-of-terrifying "Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 A.M., August 29th" school of deathbots. The robochopper, based on the commercially-available Schweizer 333 helicopter, can stay in the air for eight hours autonomously (five with a weapons payload) and has successfully landed itself on warships at sea. The Navy is considering deploying up to 200 of these things beginning in 2008, and the Army is interested in variants for work in Iraq -- the bird can be towed behind a Humvee and used to scout for explosives. No mention of who gets authority to fire the optional Hellfire missiles, but let's hope that decision stays with the humans for a while longer.

[Via The Register]

Apparently, the the artillery development budget for the US Navy is bursting at the seams, as the branch is complimenting the myriad of other dazzling weapons that it's collaboratively developing with a LGE-based rendition from Ionatron. The company, which focuses on developing "directed energy weapons," has recently landed a contract just shy of $10 million in order to "fund the development of an advanced Ultra Short Pulse Laser, physics modeling related to laser guided energy requirements, a transportable demonstrator, and effects testing." The firm's website compares its devices to that of "man-made lightning," useful in disabling "people or vehicles that threaten our security." Moreover, it was noted that both lethal and non-lethal versions are available, but we've no idea when this literal lightning in a bottle will end up hitting the test floor (or some poor sap's torso) in Los Alamos.

[Via El Reg]

Suggestions in regard to robotic rights seem to be flying off the shelves these days, but an engineer at the Naval Surface Warfare Centre has concocted an interesting set of guidelines catering to autonomous killbots of the future. Most likely, it's just a matter of time before machine-on-machine violence becomes commonplace, and John Canning's "Concept of Operations for Armed Autonomous Systems" outlines just how lethal robots should handle themselves when faced with potentially deadly conflicts. Interestingly, the document suggests the the bots should be allowed to make their own decisions when it comes to blasting or forgiving fellow robots, but before they pull the trigger on a human, it should request guidance from a flesh 'n blood friendly. Still, a definite loophole exists in the fact that these simple-minded killers could aim for a "human's weapon" without asking permission, and when his awful auto-aim programming leads to a costly casualty, it'll simply be deemed "collateral damage." Can't say we like the sound of that. [Warning: PDF read link]

[Via El Reg]

A "non-destructive" weapon that incapacitates the enemy by beaming radio frequency energy is currently being developed by the Navy and systems engineering developer Invocon. The technology is called Electromagnetic Personnel Interdiction Control, or EPIC (too good), and it basically throws a wrench into a human's normal process of hearing and equilibrium, leaving them in a dizzy state of helplessness. Pretty epic, right? Results have been clinically proven to cause complete disorientation and confusion, with a side of extreme motion sickness. The Navy hopes for the weapon to effectively penetrate walls without causing any permanent damage, which would make for an invaluable tool in warfare for reducing casualties on both sides. In essence, if this weapon ever comes to fruition, we'd be trading blood for vomit -- not too shabby, but all we want know is how many non-lethal ray-guns is the US Military going to need before it's good and happy?

[Via Wired]

The mere mention of the word brings back visions of the original first-person-shooters to grace our now-antiquated machines, and now the US Navy is getting real personal with a realized version of the pixelated railgun we all love and adore. Presumably ripped straight from the (admittedly lacking) storyline of Quake, an 8-Megajoule railgun has been officially created, fired, and deemed worthy of flanking our naval ships, which should strike fear in the hearts of anyone wishing us harm. The gun was showcased this week at the Naval Surface Warfare Center at Dahlgren, Virginia, and utilizes massive quantities of electricity rather than gunpowder to propel "nonexplosive projectiles at incredible speeds." The weapon is powerful enough to equal the damage inflicted by a Tomahawk cruise missile, and the device's project director compared the impact to hitting a solid object "going 380 miles-per-hour in a Ford Taurus." Moreover, the railgun touts a 200 to 250 nautical-mile range, compared to the 15 nautical-mile range that current five-inch guns sport now. Interestingly, the weapon should "only" cost around $1,000 per shot once loaded onboard, which is chump change compared to the cool million that vanishes each time a cruise missile is deployed, and if everything goes as planned, we'll be seeing a 32-Megajoule prototype in June, with a 64-Megajoule rendition adorning our ships by 2020.

[Via Slashdot]

Seems like every distant vision of the future has man jacking into his gear via some crazy head gear or a plug on the back of the neck or head. We just take it for granted that yeah, that's the fastest way to get to the brain: through the stem or straight into the cortex. Well, think again, because the Florida Institute for Human and Machine Cognition's 30-year neural interface project is yielding fruit -- the kind you can taste. Their Brain Port machine / sensory interface uses 144 microelectrodes to transmit information through sensitive nerve fibers in your lingua, enabling devices to supplement your own sensory perception. The system, which is getting shown off to Navy and Marine Corps divers next month will supposedly have sonar integration for sub-aqueous orientation, but has already apparently given some landlubber blind people the ability to catch balls, "notice" others walking in front of them, and find doors. With IR, radar, sonar, and other forms of detection, the researchers believe this device will obsolete night vision -- even our own eyes -- sooner than later.