The next time you get popped for a crime you didn't commit and end up in the Big House, you're going to be real glad NCIC Inmate Telephone Services rolled into existence. The greatest dream of felons everywhere has finally come to fruition: you can now make collect calls to cellphones while you're serving your time. And hey, this isn't just some minor advance -- no, this is "lightning in a bottle," arguably on par with the first moon landing, finding a cure for cancer, or hitting that crazy high note at the end of "Happiness Is a Warm Gun." With a 20 percent call-completion rate, you don't have to defer your dreams -- rob a bank today, you'll definitely be able to make pricey collect calls to loved ones from jail!

[Image courtesy Celebrity Blackberry Sightings]

Ah -- dead, eerily-prescient, 20th century authors... they just can't stop proving you right, can they? In a decidedly Orwellian turn, British authorities are considering a proposal to implant "machine-readable" RFID tags under the skin of some prison inmates as part of a plan to free up space in the country's overcrowded prisons. Just like the nightmare world described in your favorite cautionary tales, the chips would enable authorities to track the location of implantees using satellite and radio-wave technology. The program would build off of the current ankle-tagging currently in place, and according to a official from the Ministry of Justice who finds the plan double-plus good, "All the options are on the table, and this is one we would like to pursue." Of course, the controversial concept does have its detractors, Shami Chakrabarti, director of Liberty, says that, "If the Home Office doesn't understand why implanting a chip in someone is worse than an ankle bracelet, they don't need a human-rights lawyer; they need a common-sense bypass." Shortly following this statement, however, Shami was taken to an interrogation room and outfitted with a rat-hood, and all record of her existence was erased from state records.

[Via Slashdot]

We already knew that UK motorists caught driving while texting (or vice-versa) could face a penalty of two whole years in the slammer, but now it seems that merely talking while controlling a motor vehicle could land you in the exact same predicament. Reportedly, British drivers caught chatting on a handset or sending an SMS while on the road "could be jailed" under new guidelines that are expected to be published. In the most extreme cases, they could be tagged with "dangerous driving, which carries a two-year maximum sentence and an unlimited fine." Currently, these folks simply get slapped with an "automatic fine and three points on their license under the lesser charge of careless driving." But honestly, it's not like prison would be so bad for cellphone addicts -- after all, we hear some cells over there actually provide service.

[Image courtesy of MotorTrend]

Trevor Michael Karney – aka, The Elusive Dietrich – has been sentenced to jail by an LA judge for misleading police in the 162MPH crash of that $1.5 million Gizmondo Ferrari Enzo. Besides lying to police about his involvement as a passenger, the 27-year old German playboy also fled to Ireland before sneaking back into the US through the Mexican border in search of some tasty bud and cool waves. The sentence? 30 days, which roughly translates to a punishment of tickling by virgins until the onset of bellyache by the time the appeals process is through.

Earlier this year, Inventec Appliances (spun off from Inventec Electronics) was raided as prosecutors began looking for evidence to support charges of alleged insider trading, and now it looks like nine of the firm's employees could be headed to the slammer. Taiwan's Banciao District Prosecutors Office "alleged that nine executives and one lower level employee failed to publicly reveal a steep drop in iPod orders until after they had sold off nearly $22.4 million worth of stock," and although the employees knew of the order cuts as early as January 19th, nothing was publicly revealed until mid-March. Purportedly, prosecutors "are seeking the stiffest penalties against the two top executives," and if the evidence sticks, we have all ideas that Inventec will be huntin' a new Chairman (and President, too) in the not-too-distant future.

[Via TUAW]

It goes without saying that talking whilst driving (let alone texting) isn't exactly the safest practice, and unfortunately for a British teenager, she could have four solid years to think about it. Rachel Begg, who was found to have used her cellphone nine different times in the 15 minutes prior to crashing into a grandmother's vehicle and subsequently killing her, was recently found guilty and sentenced to four years in prison. To make matters worse, Begg was driving nearly 70 miles-per-hour on a dark, rainy night, and the judge reportedly emphasized how costly her lack of reason was. Better leave the texting 'til after the ride's over, eh?

[Via Textually, image courtesy of BrockportStylus]

While it may look easy (and astonishingly lucrative) to pull a case of high-stakes espionage, one South Korean and three US-based individuals are learning the hard way that crime doesn't pay. The Seoul Central Prosecutors Office is accusing an unnamed employee of Posdata Co., a developer of WiBro, "of sending email with proprietary information to three former employees who live in the US." Additionally, it was suggested that the trade secrets (which cost about $95 million to fully develop) were being offered up "for around $190 million" to an unnamed US company. All in all, four culprits were arrested in the ordeal, and while "some data" was transferred, the boys in blue caught on and stopped the gig before any major secrets were divulged. Should've tried the bag drop method, eh?

Going to the slammer because of the PlayStation 3 (sadly) isn't the most uncommon of occurrences, but if you're headed off to a British prison, we certainly hope you weren't counting on getting your game on with Sony's latest whilst locked up. Home Secretary John Reid has made clear that Sony's latest console simply won't be allowed within UK jails, as its ability to "send and receive radio signals" lends itself to becoming an illegal communication device with the "outside world." After getting over the slightly unbelievable tidbit that such luxuries would even be considered as a prison amenity, we also noticed that Mr. Reid feared that the PS3 could communicate with the PSP via WiFi, giving him yet another reason not to blow thousands of pounds to entertain convicted criminals. And before you try to sneak one of these beasts in via a sly underground tunnel, we've no doubt that Murphy will be all over those taboo data transmissions before you can even read up on old emails.

[Via PS3Fanboy]

You should already know that the Grand Canyon State isn't exactly kosher with rampant tailgating, so actually ramming someone's vehicle due to a personal conflict you have with them isn't likely to get you a whole lot of mercy. Subsequently, a 58-year old male is facing jail time due to his inability to turn the other cheek when he drove up on another motorist who was casually yapping on their cellphone. Rather than simply signing to hang up or doing nothing at all, Mr. Asselin felt it was in both of their best interests if they had a verbal exchange whilst cruising down the avenue, and to make matters worse, the curiously enraged driver reportedly ran the talker into oncoming traffic where the cellphone-using victim narrowly escaped death. Notably, several witnessed deemed the whole event akin to something we'd see "in a movie," but unless you've got Transporter-like skills, we wouldn't recommend trying to reenact this in your home state, no matter your feelings on driving while connected.

[Via Fark]

Three cheers for citizens arrest! Actually, the case might end up going in the opposite direction, as a Bartow County couple could be arrested and tried for "allegedly stalking a Kennesaw police officer by installing cameras to track neighborhood speeders." While it seems perfectly okay to mount radars and speed traps all over our bustling highways in order to fine citizens for their hasty ways, apparently it's not so cool to keep an eagle-eye on a police officer breaking the same law. The couple spent around $1,200 installing a trio of video cameras and a radar gun outside their home in an attempt to monitor neighborhood speedsters and convince residents to slow down for safety, but things got a bit hairy when the surveillance system tagged a cop scurrying by at 17 miles-per-hour over the posted speed limit. Oddly enough, it seems that the officer was able to generate an acceptable excuse to dodge the penalty for speeding, while simultaneously planning to press charges against the dutiful couple for "stalking." So, dear readers, how exactly does an immobile, stationary camera go about stalking someone, hmm?

[Via Digg]

We've seen cellphones turn into brutal weaponry more than a few times in our day, but in the latest unsolved mystery of a handset ending up in a potentially unfaithful SO's throat, it looks like justice is about to be served. Although it was previously assumed that a scandalous girlfriend attempted to swallow her mobile in order to prevent a suspicious boyfriend from finding out who was in her contact book, it now sounds like the enraged male in the situation could've forced it down there. In an admittedly awkward twist, a "jury convicted Marlon Gill of second-degree domestic assault" as they blamed him for putting her phone where her mouth is. Notably, jurors couldn't come to an agreement on an appropriate sentence, which means the decision will be left up to the judge, and personally, we feel the punishment should be much more severe if the mobile in question were of the smartphone (read: jumbo) variety.

[Thanks, Lunar Dog]

Any Brits reading this will probably already be aware of the occasionally questionable exploits of the "red top" tabloids, but for those that prefer not to take their tea with crumpets, the news that Clive Goodman, a journalist for the UK Sunday tabloid the News of the World, was found guilty and sentenced to four months jail time for intercepting over 600 phone messages left for three senior officials in the royal household will probably come as a mild shock. To British readers, the fact that a tabloid hack was willing to go to such lengths in order to provide such thrilling exclusives as the "news" that Prince William casually asked an ITV reporter to borrow a video editing suite won't be a surprise at all. Perhaps the most depressing fact in this case is the complete incompetence of the assailants: Mr. Goodman and Glenn Mulcaire -- the freelance investigator who was sentenced to six months prison time for his role in this plot, and for independently tapping several other notable figure's phones -- illegally and recklessly accessed voicemails before the rightful owners had retrieved them. If there's any good to come out of this case, it'll be a tightening of the security at the network operators that provided the royal official's mobile phones: apparently Mulcaire somehow managed to obtain the passwords "issued by the mobile phone companies to their own security staff. This allowed him, having obtained the mobile phone numbers of his targets, to call customer services and to obtain the voicemail retrieval numbers." We don't know whether to be flattered by the fact that royal staff slum it with the rest of us by using the same mobile phone networks that us "commoners" do, or to freak out at the lax security exercise by the unnamed network operators.

[Via Boing Boing]

Yeah, we've seen quite a bit of mishaps happen in conjunction with operating a GPS device, and the list of brainless criminals is (fortunately) seeming to get longer each day, but this heist made the cops' jobs so easy it's almost implausible. A few crooks with a potentially bright idea set out to swipe a dozen or so cellphones from the Town of Babylon Public Works garage in Lindenhurst, NY, but unfortunately for them, the 14 units they swiped turned out to be GPS devices. As expected, Suffolk County police didn't have any qualms tracking the bandits down, and actually found the head criminal holding one of their prizes when they entered his home, as he was presumably trying to call his mother (or partners in crime) and explain all he'd accomplished. Nevertheless, the father and his 13-year old son, along with another 20-year old culprit, were all taken in on charges of grand larceny and stupidity, but at least justice prevailed, eh?

[Via Fark]

Alright, so we're taking this one at face value, but according to an admittedly weird report in Asia, Guangzhou residents should be on the lookout for a clever pup who looks mighty innocent, but is reportedly a "hardened criminal." After locating the dog in a Panyu District home, the owner was surprised to see the mysterious creature cease playing with his daughter, dart over to his cellphone, and make a break for the exit. According to local police, it's becoming somewhat common to see "thieves training canines" to sneak into homes and swipe cellphones for crooks to resell. While it would certainly be easy to brush this off as completely ludicrous, the idea actually isn't that far-fetched, as an English Springer Spaniel is already on patrol in UK prisons sniffing out and retrieving mobiles that were brought into the jails without consent. So if you're strolling through Guangzhou, make sure that cellie is well covered, cool?

[Via Textually]

While folks have been receiving various forms of punishment after jacking somebody's lingering WiFi signal without consent, it looks like the poor internet-addicted teenager from Singapore just barely missed out on the maximum fine. Proclaimed as the first victim of Singapore's newly-enforced Computer Misuse Act, the 17-year old Garyl Tan Jia Luo picked up 18 months of probation (some of which will be at home) instead of jail time, but what's potentially worse is the fact that he is not allowed to access the internet during his stint. Apparently, the judge felt this was the best way to break him of his internet addiction, and also recommended that the kiddo receive treatment for his online gaming obsession. Of course, we're sure his school grades will plummet and he'll miss out on a critical amount of technological development during the next 1.5 years, but hey, serving up justice is what it's all about, right? So if you're stuck in Singapore without a connection to the digital world, hold out just a bit longer for that free nationwide variety before hopping onto whatever jail-bait WiFi signal you find floating around.

[Via TechDirt]