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Best of the Rest: Thomas' picks of 2014
ATTENTION: The year 2014 has concluded its temporal self-destruct sequence. If you are among the escapees, please join us in salvaging and preserving the best games from the irradiated chrono-debris. Disney Fantasia: Music Evolved I love listening to music alone. When no one's looking, I'm free to tap out drum beats, put on emotional lip-synchs and flail in synch with a song's swelling heights. Playing Disney Fantasia: Music Evolved is a lot like those solo jam sessions in the way it grants a free pass to completely lose myself in a song's components. Sure, I look ridiculous, but I have to! Matching notes with halfhearted swipes and restrained punches just leads to broken combos, as if the Kinect is the all-knowing gaze of an instructor ready to belittle a cold, tired performance. Substituting instruments and creating remixes adds a welcome element of experimentation to Fantasia, but it's the core focus of moving with music that brings me back each week. It's increasingly difficult to ignore life's noise while playing a game as I grow older, but Fantasia's peak moments tune out every distraction, leaving me with an uninhibited excuse to enjoy twisted, endearing remixes of songs that I love.
Best of the Rest: Anthony's picks of 2014
ATTENTION: The year 2014 has concluded its temporal self-destruct sequence. If you are among the escapees, please join us in salvaging and preserving the best games from the irradiated chrono-debris. Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII Unlike a surprising number of vocal individuals on the Internet, I happened to like Final Fantasy XIII. Its world of cruel, mercurial gods and long, fashionable coats worked for me despite some miserable pacing and some truly unlikable characters. (Why would anyone try to save Serah or help Snow? They're insufferable.) I didn't love it, though. I honestly thought that I'd finally grown out of Final Fantasy's style of drama. And then came Lightning Returns, the best game to come out of Square's internal Japanese studios since 2006. Everything about Lightning Returns clicked for me. The weird costume design was leveraged to make a speedy, delectable battle system that rarely emphasizes level grinding over skill and strategy. Manipulating the passage of time while sticking to the game's ceaselessly diminishing clock before the world literally ends never feels cumbersome or stressful as in other time management games, it only adds to the driven feeling that fuels the story. And what a story. Lightning Returns trades mewling melodrama for a tale about a post-death world. When everyone lives forever, when nothing changes, what matters? The wooden Lightning of past games instead becomes a powerful point-of-view character for the player, an anchor for our questions about this fantasy world works and what's at stake. Square hasn't made a game this powerful or weird in years, and part of me wishes this was the only Final Fantasy XIII in existence.
Amazon Gold Box Event discounts South Park, Lightning Returns, more
Brobdingnagian online retailer Amazon has kicked off another all-day Gold Box Event, bringing discounts to games like South Park: The Stick of Truth, Thief, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13 and the Android-powered Ouya console. South Park: The Stick of Truth is today's Deal of the Day . Normally priced at $60, during the Event, South Park has been discounted by 28 percent to $43. Appropriately, the PlayStation 3 incarnation of Lightning Returns is one of the site's timed Lightning Deals. It goes on sale at 10AM PST, at which time its price will fall by 33 percent. Thief on PS4 is another Lightning Deal. It goes on sale at 2PM PST, though Amazon has yet to reveal the game's momentary new price. Rounding out this sales extravaganza is the Ouya, which serves as today's Bonus Deal. Instead of the console's standard $100 price tag, the device has been slapped with a 30 percent discount, reducing the cost of ownership to $70. For more details on this sale and the other non-gaming items up for cheap purchase, pay a visit to Amazon's Gold Box page. [Image: Square Enix]
Matt Stone on South Park's censored scenes: 'It's not that big a deal'
South Park: The Stick of Truth may be censored in some regions of the world, but series co-creator Matt Stone told The Guardian that the censorship - in which offending scenes are replaced by a still image and a text description - isn't "that big a deal," and "doesn't change things that much." "We weren't willing to change the content, but also it doesn't ruin the game – it's like 40 seconds' worth of the whole game," Stone said. "As long as we could make a joke out of the fact that they made us cut this, that was fine." Stone also noted that the censorship felt like a double standard; compared to television, games have more scrutiny aimed at their content. He believes it's due to their interactive nature. "There is an interactiveness that makes it different," Stone said. "There are things that make people more uncomfortable in an interactive world, definitely. But that said, what we had in the game, we could have shown that on TV pretty easily, especially now." Even with the censored scenes removed, The Stick of Truth still features plenty of dark comedy, as noted in our review. And, if you happen to be a Joystiq reader who lives in a region where you don't get to experience the content firsthand, we have a stream of the uncensored version of the game for your viewing (dis)pleasure. [Image: Ubisoft]
Joystiq Weekly: Batman: Arkham Knight, our South Park review and more
Welcome to Joystiq Weekly, a "too long; didn't read" of each week's biggest stories, reviews and original content. Each category's top story is introduced with a reactionary gif, because moving pictures aren't just for The Daily Prophet. Rocksteady revealed its return to the Batman series this week with Batman: Arkham Knight, and we've dug out capes and Batarangs from our Halloween stash to get properly excited. Last year's Batman: Arkham Origins and Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate were the first pieces of the series that weren't developed by Rocksteady. We enjoyed Arkham Origins well enough, but we're ready to move on from its bugs and glitches, especially since not all of them will be fixed with a patch. Arkham Knight is set to be the final game in the Arkham series, and we're eager to see what Rocksteady will do for the finale once it releases in October. There's plenty to read while we wait however, including news of Amy Hennig's departure from Naughty Dog, a preview of Watch Dogs and a review of South Park: The Stick of Truth. We've rounded up those stories and more for you in this week's edition of the Joystiq Weekly. [Image: Warner Bros.]
Joystiq Streams: Have ourselves a time with South Park: The Stick of Truth [UPDATE: Relive the stream!]
South Park: The Stick of Truth could so easily have ended up as a sad casualty of the gaming business. Even from the outset, the odds were stacked against it. Obsidian is a talented developer but its games, particularly Alpha Protocol and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II, have been plagued by bugs. Then came the dissolution of original publisher THQ, then the Ubisoft acquisition of Stick of Truth, and its subsequent delay into 2014. That the game came out at all is miraculous. That it happens to be very good and very funny is just icing on the cake. Sam Prell (@SamPrell), who wrote our review of South Park: The Stick of Truth, will be taking Joystiq Streams on a guided tour of the colorful Colorado-based RPG at 4PM EST on the Joystiq Twitch channel. Anthony John Agnello (@ajohnagnello) will be hanging in the chat feeding your questions directly to Sam. We heartily encourage you to come on down to Joystiq Streams. Joystiq Streams broadcasts live every Tuesday and Thursday at 4PM EST on Twitch. [Images: Ubisoft]
South Park delayed in Germany, Austria over use of swastikas
South Park: The Stick of Truth was supposed to launch in Germany and Austria this week, but it's been delayed because it contains an "unconstitutional symbol." Two guesses what that symbol might be. Hint: It's a swastika. The swastika is widely known as a Nazi emblem (regardless of its origin), and is delineated in German law as the symbol of an unconstitutional organization. Public use of a swastika carries a penalty of up to three years in prison plus a fine. Ubisoft created censored versions of The Stick of Truth for the EMEA regions and Australia, and it was working on a special version for German markets. Something must have gone wrong, as The Stick of Truth's German Steam page today carries the following message: "We're sorry to inform you that we are unable to deliver your pre-ordered version of South Park: The Stick of Truth on March 6th as initially planned. The German and Austrian version of South Park: The Stick of Truth contains an unconstitutional symbol which means that we are unfortunately not able to release the game on the German and Austrian market at this time. This concerns all versions / platforms of the game. There is no need to amend or cancel your pre-order. A new release date of South Park: The Stick of Truth for the German and Austrian market will be announced shortly, and we will ensure that your order is delivered to coincide with this new date." There's only one rule, and it looks like Ubisoft broke it: Don't mention the war. [Image: Ubisoft]
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PSN Tuesday: Awesomenauts, Dead Nation on PS4, South Park on PS3
The PSN update this fine Tuesday includes Awesomenauts Assemble and Dead Nation: Apocalypse Edition for PS4, as well as South Park: The Stick of Truth, Master Reboot and NASCAR '14 for PS3. Vita gets Hatsune Miku Project Diva F, and PS3 owners can now enjoy dragons, prohibition-era crime and the ultimate pessimistic detective with the HBO GO app. We learned about Awesomenauts Assemble late in January, and it includes seven new characters, a new map and "improved" controls, Ronimo Designer Fabian Akker said. It goes for $10 on PS4. For PS3, Master Reboot is a neon-covered, sci-fi horror game dealing with death and computer viruses, and it's $15. South Park is $60, and it speaks for itself.
Metareview: South Park - The Stick of Truth
There may be friendly faces everywhere, but the South Park: The Stick of Truth launch trailer is prolifically NSFW, and it's slightly spoiler-y - but it's also pretty great. The game's not bad, either, according to our three-and-a-half-star review, which said, "If you can also forgive the repetitive nature of combat and some uninspired quests, it's worth taking up arms – or dildos – for The Stick of Truth's hilarious, disgusting adventure." Of course, we're not the only kid in the class. Head below the break for a sampling of what others had to say on The Stick of Truth.
South Park: The Stick of Truth review: Come on down
Before video games, kids played pretend. They didn't need a graphics card or CPU to show them a world of wonder and high fantasy. Get a long enough stick and, boom, you're a wizard. Put up a tent and some cardboard in the backyard and you've got a fortress. Playing pretend can be powerful, and nowhere is that more true than in the quiet mountain town of South Park. South Park: The Stick of Truth is the story of a children's game gone horribly, awfully, disgustingly awry. It opens with you, the new kid, being invited to partake in a war where humans and elves battle for control of an all-powerful relic that allows its wielder to control the universe. Only, the "war" is just swinging cardboard swords, the "elves" are kids wearing the sort of cheap plastic ears you see in Halloween stores, and the "all-powerful relic" is a stick. Just an ordinary stick. It's all pretend. Or is it? During your quest to claim the Stick of Truth, you'll explore alien vessels, witness your parents having sex, perform an abortion on a man, fight Nazi zombies, crawl up an anus, and face off against a shadowy government organization, and all of it is very real. But you and your friends are still kids, playing pretend. Your paladin friend doesn't really have a Hammer of Justice, he has a ball-peen hammer taken from his home. Your wizard friend isn't casting Magic Missile, he's throwing menstrual pads. And you, dear child, you're not swinging a "vibroblade," you're wielding a dildo.
I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you see that scene in the South Park game
A leaked image shows what European console players see instead of the scenes censored out of South Park: The Stick of Truth. Clearly, Michaelangelo's David is not impressed. The text below (see the NSFW full image below the break) describes in blunt detail what players aren't seeing, and that comprises seven scenes removed from the EMEA Xbox 360 and PS3 versions, each around 20 seconds long. In Australia it looks to be the same deal, except the still image is of a crying koala instead of David. When asked about the EMEA censorship, an Ubisoft spokesperson told Eurogamer "this was a market decision." As Eurogamer notes, Ubisoft's decision may be tied to ensuring the game was fit for release in Germany, where stricter guidelines on games are enforced. The Stick of Truth brings its mix of indelicate humor and Obsidian roleplay to retail shelves this week: first North America on March 4, then Australia March 6, and Europe March 7.
South Park: The Stick of Truth censored in a whole lot of the world
Seven scenes have been removed from the console versions of South Park: The Stick of Truth in the EMEA region, which covers the not so small continents and areas of Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. That's in addition to the game's censorship in Australia, where the often prominent Classification Board deemed certain scenes had to be modified if the Obsidian RPG was to be rated for sale. As BT.com spotted, Ubisoft sent out a document to publications this week that confirmed 7 scenes, each around 20 seconds long, have been removed from the EMEA console versions of The Stick of Truth. As you can imagine given the often controversial nature of the TV show the game is based on, the scenes are NSFW reading, and some readers may be sensitive to their descriptions. We've included those descriptions below the break.
The trials of being the new kid in South Park
It's tough being the new kid in town. In South Park: The Stick of Truth, you have to put up with Cartman calling you a "douchebag" and demanding you pay exorbitant dues just to be part of his crummy little kingdom.
South Park: The Stick of Truth doesn't have Uplay integration, guy
Despite being an Ubisoft game now, South Park: The Stick of Truth doesn't require or even use Uplay in any way. The news comes from developer Obsidian, who took to its Twitter account to confirm the PC version is a Steam game, and a Steam game only. As AusGamers notes, The Stick of Truth was a THQ game in a past life, so perhaps that's why it's not integrated with Ubisoft's distribution and DRM service. Obisidian didn't offer an explanation in its answers to fans' questions. Whether or not the news leaves you happier than a poop at Christmas, the game is less than a month out. The Stick of Truth thwacks North America on March 4, Europe March 6. [Image: Ubisoft]
PSN Tuesday: Outlast on PS4, pre-order Dark Souls 2, South Park
Outlast is out on PS4 in today's PSN update, alongside PS3 games Dustforce, Castlestorm Complete Edition, Adam's Venture Chronicles, Truck Racer and Furmins + Stardrone Extreme Bundle. Outlast, you'll remember (unless you blocked the memory to save your psyche), is the horror game from Red Barrels that places players inside a corrupt insane asylum with the broader task of discovering why everyone there is so grossly homicidal. It's $20 on PSN, but free for Plus members. A bevy of PS3 pre-orders are live now as well: Dark Souls 2, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Tales of Symphonia Chronicles and Call of Duty: Ghosts' first DLC pack, Onslaught. That last one is pre-order-able for PS4 as well. Vita gets Dustforce, King Oddball and Surge Deluxe today. See the full lineup on the PlayStation Blog. [Image: Red Barrels]
South Park pre-orders now live on Steam, bonus pack included
Ubisoft is now accepting digital pre-orders for the Steam version of Obsidian's South Park: The Stick of Truth, offering up a series of exclusive bonus costumes as incentive for players to join the game's merry band of foul-mouthed fourth-graders on their quest. Players who pre-order The Stick of Truth via Steam will receive four outfits that boost in-game stats when equipped. Steam's "Ultimate Fellowship" pack includes the fire damage-increasing Necromancer Sorcerer Costume, weapon damage-boosting Ranger Elf Costume, the party-fortifying Holy Defender Costume, and the Rogue Assassin Costume, which increases gold earned after every battle. South Park: The Stick of Truth will launch for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and PC platforms on March 4. [Image: Ubisoft]
South Park: The Stick of Truth has TV ads, no lie
South Park: The Stick of Truth, which has had an epic development tale in its own right, will finally launch in one month on PC, PS3 and Xbox 360. To solidify that it's really, really happening this time, Ubisoft has released the game's television spot. Some potentially NSFW clips from the game were also flushed out by Ubisoft today. We've placed those after the break. One of them pinches out an old Christmas friend. [Image: Ubisoft]
South Park behind-the-scenes shows importance of 'authentic crappiness'
A new behind-the-scenes video for South Park: The Stick of Truth has revealed just how the game came to land in the hands of developers Obsidian, as well as some ... enlightening information on the importance of the game's aesthetic and farts. Language NSFW. Obviously. Come on, it's South Park. Show creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone noted that it's "harder than you think" to make a game look like the show; there's an "authentic crappiness" to the animation that Stone and Parker felt couldn't be pulled off until the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 came into existence. The two men also stress how important it is for the player to feel powerful. "In Zelda, you become master of the wind, in Infamous, you have electricity as your weapon. In Stick of Truth, we made it farts, which is probably not the biggest surprise." No, can't say it is.
Latest South Park: Stick of Truth trailer is one long fart joke
In any other game, a trailer like the one you see above for South Park: The Stick of Truth would serve as a short introduction to your character's attacks. This being a South Park game however, the footage focuses on the damage potential of weaponized flatulence.
South Park ends PS4, Xbox One wars with a Red (Robin) wedding
It's going to be difficult to watch the new season of Game of Thrones without humming South Park's vocal variation of the theme song. We won't reprint it here, but it rhymes with "Meeners, ploppy Meeners." The third and final episode in South Park's Game of Thrones-style, next-gen console wars storyline aired last night, wrapping up with Kenny as an anime princess, the Black Friday mob, George RR Martin on a horse and a Red Robin wedding. And it includes a line that would fit in most Game of Thrones episodes: "Whose betrayal is this?" We usually hate to spoil the ending of anything, but in this case it's both obvious and harmless: The episode closes with an ad for Ubisoft's South Park RPG, The Stick of Truth. The US audience can check out all of the drama at South Park Studios.
