You know what's lamer than the thought of just how close 7:00AM on a Monday morning is from now? These five gadgets. Things are really neck-and-neck in this edition of the world's poorest attempts in the consumer electronics space, with everything from a brick-colored satellite dish cover (is drunk designing the new drunk dialing?), a ladybug-shaped multicard reader and a carpal tunnel-inducing aircraft mouse. Oh, and lest we forget the "Big Time" watch table and cellphone wristband, both of which are also very worth candidates for this round's most pitiful. Give each a look below, and after you're through chuckling / vomiting, exercise your right to vote on the best (worst?) below.

Read - Brick-colored dish cover
Read - Ladybug multicard reader
Read - USB aircraft mouse
Read - Giant watch table
Read - Gadget wristband

There's always that guy (or girl) who dominates meetings, saying the same thing over and over again, or just repeats what others say. We all find it annoying, and we all wish there was some way to make that blabbermouth aware of his (or her) social transgressions. Enter the Reflect table. Reflect monitors conversations and visualizes -- literally -- who has the table using an array of color LEDs. Microphones listen to all the talk and show who is currently talking, who talks the most, and who's being left out. This could be great for business meetings to tone down the "thinking outside the box," but could also be a terrifying ordeal on a first date.

[Via MAKE]

Nah, the idea of using a freshly-mushroomed NES controller as your coffee table isn't new, but we've got to give props where props are due on this one. Kyle Downes has just completed a painstaking project that resulted in his very own NES controller table, complete with a removable glass top to protect the unit itself. Best of all, it's way more than just a living room centerpiece. Open it up and you'll find loads of storage room for items any Big N fanboy shouldn't be without. Remove the glass covering and you'll realize that it's a fully-functional Nintendo Entertainment System control pad. Don't believe us? Check out the video after the break.

[Via GeekLifeBlog]

Just in case Dell's Latitude XFR D630 was too mainstream for you, DRS Tactical Systems has a pair of equally tough rigs for you to chew on. Up first is the ARMOR C12 convertible (shown above), which packs a 12.1-inch outdoor readable touchscreen, 1.2GHz ULV U1400 CPU, 512MB of DDR2 RAM, a 60GB shock-mounted HDD, full-sized keyboard, integrated WiFi, Ethernet, PCMCIA, a biometric scanner and a die-cast magnesium case built to pass MIL-STD-810F / IP54 standards. As for the ARMOR X10 tablet (pictured after the jump), you'll find a 1.2GHz U2500 Core Duo processor, an optional 16GB SSD, 10.4-inch sunlight readable display, Bluetooth and many of the same highlights seen on the aforementioned C12. No word on a price for either at the moment, but trust us, you'll pay a pretty penny for a machine that just begs for pain. [Warning: PDF read link]

Frankly, we're not totally sure we actually long to "create a physical link between our virtual and real identities" -- you know, we like to keep that stuff pushed far, far away from the forefront of our minds -- but if we ever have a change of heart, it seems the Wable will be right there waiting. This unique "table," as it were, sports four bars that raise and lower automatically based on the activity from web applications such as Plazes, Flickr and Last.fm. Beyond that, it doesn't seem to add too much more value to one's life, but if it's the simple things that keep you smiling, check out a remarkably unremarkable video of it after the jump.

[Via Core77]

Yeah, we sure love our charts / tables too, and with Garmin's nüvi lineup now bordering on thoroughly overwhelming, we're glad to see the folks over at NaviGadget doing the dirty work and cranking out "the ultimate nüvi comparison table." Click on for a much easier way to digest the latest outpouring of nüvis, will ya?

Hot on the heels of Gamerator's stupendous MAME cabinet and AOTS "world's largest arcade machine" comes a DIY project that gives both of the aforementioned products a run for their money. The aptly-titled IKEA MAME Dinner Table cleverly crams a MAME machine into a standard dinner table, which we're absolutely sure any warm-blooded mother (and / or gamer) could appreciate. The table can slide open to reveal a 15-inch LCD, Happ Controls and an Ultimarc I-PAC, and while a myriad games can be played, the creator's personal favorite is the famed Ms. Pacman. Click on for a couple more looks, and then head on to the read link for a slew of pics from the underside.

[Via MAKE]

While some things may take you back, the Lite Table manages to warp you way back. Upon first glance, there's absolutely no doubt where this masterpiece of a table got its inspiration, and for those who wasted hours on end moving pegs and devising new Lite Bright creations as a wee lad (or dame), any price would seem reasonable for this. Granted, this piece has been spotted before, but thanks to Jellio, what appears to be a fanboy's creation is actually available for purchase. What's it gonna take? A mere $600, a whole lot of patience, and a prime spot in the living room to show your youngsters that grown-ups can still relate.

[Via UberReview]

It may sound like something out of a David Cronenberg movie, but the digestive table designed by Amy Young is in actuality only slightly less disturbing -- and, best of all, you can build one of your own if you've got the carpentry skills to match the plans. If you do, you'll soon be turning your leftovers into nutritious, sweet-smelling compost with the help of some hard-working worms and sowbugs that'll chew 'em up and spit out the results on the plants below. So as you don't miss a moment of that action, the table also comes equipped with a 10-inch LCD connected to an infrared camera set atop the compost heap, capturing the circle of life in all its stomach-turning glory.

Via Inhabitat]

Sure, step-by-step instructions by some of the best modders we've ever seen can help you turn your Jaguar into a portable or stuff a Linux box inside an Apple monitor, but what if that newfangled computer desk just magically assembled itself as soon as you got it home? While we're not quite there just yet, a group of Swiss gurus have devised a prototype system that utilizes multiple series of LEDs that glow and fade based on user input, direction, and tasks remaining. Designed to be used on typical flat packed tables, chairs, and other forms of IKEA-derived furniture, the diodes act in "proactive fashion" and "adapt to each movement the user makes" in order to guide the assembler to screwing the right bolt in the correct location and in the appropriate order. While there are far too many specifics to get into here, be sure to hit the read leads for the full skinny, including a comparison to the often used "paper and frustration" method. [Warning: PDF links]

Read - LED furniture assembly explained
Read - LED furniture design details
[Via infosthetics]