Theonion -- Engadget

New iPhone only visible to most loyal customers, claims The Onion

by Paul Miller posted Jul 29th 2009 at 10:04AM

Can you spot the poseurs?

Huge new Intel processor revealed

by Nilay Patel posted May 15th 2009 at 1:50AM

Even The Onion knows MIDs just aren't where the action is.

MacBook Wheel revealed by the Onion News Network

by Laura June posted Jan 5th 2009 at 9:50PM

I never really realized how nuch I hated keybroads untill I saw this thing.

Sent from my MacBook Wheel

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

The Onion pits Snow Leopard against Windows 7, everyone wins

by Thomas Ricker posted Nov 10th 2008 at 7:15AM

After that earlier piece on global e-waste, we thought you might want something to lighten the mood. Fortunately, The Onion is ready with a sardonic, blood-shot eye turned to the respective OS releases on the way from Cupertino and Redmond. Click on through for the full comparison while we pack up things from this lame, euro coffee shop.

[Via Daring Fireball]

The Onion says Apple backlash set for March 21st, 2008

by Joshua Topolsky posted Oct 3rd 2007 at 2:08PM

With all of the hype and excitement surrounding Apple products, it's clear that the company has created a climate for a massive and sustained backlash. Well, according to a new report in The Onion, Wall Street forecasters have set a date for the tide to turn: March 21st, 2008. According to Goldman Sachs analyst Steven Shore, a shift in attitude will occur which will cause users of the Cupertino juggernaut's products to, "Look down at their glossy white or black devices and feel a sense of embarrassment and gullibility." Shore went on the say, "They will realize that, despite all the sleek design, they got caught up in a wave of hype that made them shell out additional hundreds of dollars for options and features they didn't need." The report claims that Apple will respond to the news with the release of a mint-green iPod in late October, though we have our doubts that the company is considering anything lighter than emerald.

Sousaphone Hero not living up to expectations

by Nilay Patel posted Aug 2nd 2007 at 8:58AM

Self-proclaimed "America's finest news source" The Onion reports that Activision's latest virtual-instrument title, Sousaphone Hero, isn't selling as well as the company had hoped, despite a $25M development budget, innovative wireless sousaphone controller, and versions available for PS3, 360, and Wii. Complaints range from the title's $345 price tag, repetitive gameplay, lack of non-marching-band music, and unresponsive "oompah" meter, while pro sousaphone players have taken umbrage at the lack of realism in the game. "The fingering's completely different, for starters," according to one sousaphonist The Onion interviewed. The report also says Activision is considering shelving three more planned Hero titles due to the tepid response, including the hotly-anticipated Cymbal Hero. Looks like the golden age of marching bands is truly at an end.

[Via Joystiq]

The Onion releases latest round of iPhone specs

by Ryan Block posted Jun 20th 2007 at 7:18PM

Crazy, we knew The Onion had some pretty reliable sources inside Apple, but who would have thought the Stevephone reproduces through asexual mitosis? And we still think $600 is a lot, but an iPhone hat clearly makes it a fantastic value.

Onion newsbrief: iPhone 2.0 in the works

by Ryan Block posted Feb 16th 2007 at 8:46PM

We do love The Onion around these parts, and when Onion coverage does cross over into Engadget territory, we find it's usually best to let those guys speak for themselves:

"'We looked at [the iPhone's] innovative user interface, the paradigm-shifting voicemail, the best-in-class mobile browser, and we realized we could make all that seem ridiculously outdated by the time the product becomes available to customers in June,' said Jobs, who described the project as 'Apple reinventing the iPhone.'"

We really love that Palm's sponsoring the page, too. [Potentially NSFW in and around The Onion.]

[Thanks, Duke]