Quick! Someone tell Walmart Black Friday isn't for another five and a half months. With no new iPhone in sight, the retailer is selling the 16GB version for $147 on contract -- the kind of stunt we'd expect it to pull in an effort to reel in holiday shoppers. Why do we sound so unappreciative, you might ask? Easy: because you probably won't be able to get your hands on one. The sale, which applies to AT&T and Verizon models, lasts until June 30, and only an unspecified number of "select" stores will even be participating. No word on how many discounted phones Walmart has to shill, but both the black and white versions are sold out online, which doesn't exactly bode well for your chances of scoring one in person.

So you're anxiously awaiting your biodegradable car and your biodegradable 3D glasses, waiting for the day when everything you own can return to the loam from which it sprang. But, what about the computer you're using this very moment? It's probably made of non-green materials like injection-molded plastic, and slapping some bamboo on it isn't fooling anyone. Design and engineering firm PEGA comes to your rescue with a new composite material made of recycled paper and polypropylene alloy. Lightweight, durable, and inexpensive to produce, it acts just like typical ABS plastic -- and it even comes in the classic soul-killing beige. Maybe this is what Apple's been waiting for.

If the KIRF arrives before the KIRFed, then it's debatable who's KIRFing who, right? Either way, we ordered two.