While you're totally in your rights to keep frettin' over brain tumors, it looks like your eyes are safe from the cellphone cancer -- at least until another study is released. According to a paper published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, a German study involving roughly 1,600 people has found no conclusive link between cellphone use and uveal melanoma. This contradicts an earlier, smaller study by the same researchers that suggested that there indeed might be a connection. Is that clear? It doesn't seem that a consensus will be reached on this subject any time soon, but for the morbidly curious we have years of cellphone / cancer hodgepodge for your perusal.

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Cellphones are dangerous/not dangerous, eyezapoppin! edition