No one wants the smartwatch category to succeed more than I do. As a kid, I dreamed of enjoying TV on my watch, or video calling "HQ" (or more likely, my mum), just like Penny in Inspector Gadget. Most smartwatches offer a taste of this experience, but not the whole enchilada. Enter Neptune Pine. It's a smartwatch by the loosest definition: it's a small Android phone in a wrist-strap. Whatever you want to call it, it'll do both of the above things, and more. It's also a genuine Kickstarter success story -- like, one, where the product came out and everything! It might not be the first smartwatch/phone mash-up, and it's (definitely) not the last. But, it's one of the more ambitious takes on the idea I've seen. I spent seven days with it (and no other phone) to see how my dream stands up to the reality -- and whether a watch could ever replace your trusty mobile. The galleries tell much of the story, so be sure to jump in when you see them.