“An engineer explained to us that hundreds of ear impressions were gathered in the name of research, and while each one obviously boasted its own unique shape and size, one single characteristic remained uniform across the board: the entrance into the ear canal is not a perfect circle, it's an oval.”
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You mean the toys and skills that I was getting in pursuit of my advanced degree are now available to well-heeled children the world over?
Curses!
I guess my only recourse is to go mad-scientist . . .