Quantum Sleeper: Finally, a bed for the truly paranoid

Wow, some people are taking the whole elevated alert thing just a tad too far. The Quantum Sleeper is a fully functional (if a bit cramped) safe room in a bed. It's bulletproof, airtight/watertight with a rebreather, backup power and air filtered and has one-way mirrors so intruders can watch themselves futilely try to get in while you sit inside and laugh and call your friends (and the police) on your cellphone, shortwave or CB radio. You can cower in style with the optional CD and DVD players, microwave oven, and refrigerator while remaining protected against gas attacks, bullets, fires, hurricanes, floods, kidnappers, stalkers and homicidal maniacs. As long as you don't have to go to the bathroom.