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Woman with phone glued to ear robs four banks

Evan Blass
cellphone bandit

Proving once again that technology is getting more sophisticated while criminals remain as dumb as ever is a brazen woman who has robbed four Wachovia branches in Northern Virginia since October 12, each time entering the banks unmasked and chatting on her cellphone the entire time. Although police will not disclose the contents of the notes she has passed to tellers, we can infer that the Cellphone Bandit started out using the threat of a bomb or gun and then escalated to brandishing an actual firearm. Police are currently vetting through mobile calls made around the same times/locations as the heists, which may prove successful since at least one of the tellers heard the woman speaking a series of "okay"s. As to why someone might want to chat on the phone during a crime, University of Waterloo sociology professor Fred Desrosches theorized that "maybe because she's a woman, she feels less secure physically, and by talking to somebody, it makes her feel secure…or, maybe she's talking to her mother." So yet another crime has occurred here, folks, an assault on the notion that women can't be just as cold and depraved in their criminal activity as men.

[Thanks, resource]

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