The next time you've got to spend some quality alone time on the throne, make sure you've got an RSStroom Reader
handy to print you up some multi-use news items. We can't quite tell if it's outputting some two-ply quilted feeds, or
if it plans to keep us up to date with that generic single-ply brand, but with wireless connectivity, RSS 2.0/Atom
compatibility, and a browser based control panel, it should get the job done. Sure, this gag isn't for reals, but
c'mon, you know you want one.