DontFlySong: Song's game boast falls flat

Song is Delta's low-cost, modern airline that's supposed to compete with other low-cost, modern airlines such as Ted and jetBlue. On the company's website, and in their advertising, they promise "first class entertainment at every seat" and boast of "11 video games" that will help create the feeling of "your living room [if it] could cruise at 30,000 feet."

We're shocked (just shocked) to report that their advertising may be exaggerating the value of the entertainment just a wee bit. Are the following games "first class" versions of their "living room" counterparts?

• In-Flight Poker: multiplayer poker

• Alchemy: a "magical puzzler"

• Atomica: another puzzler. Is it magical? No, it's "nuclear!"

• Bejeweled: another puzzler. Is it nuclear? No, it's "furious fun!"

• Big Money: another puzzler in which "Greed is good!"

• Bookworm: another puzzler. With worms. Would be more exciting if they were of the hook, not book variety.

• Dynomite: another puzzler. "Prehistoric" ... finally some truth in advertising.

• Noah's Ark. another puzzler. Like mahjong with animals.

• Insaniquarium. Holy hell it's not a puzzler. It's a fish tending sim... with aliens.

We're still waiting for the airline that hands every traveler a PSP or a DS upon boarding. Airlines generally provide current in-flight films. Why can't they provide current game experiences? We're not saying that these games are bad, we're saying that Song is overselling them and is inadvertently pointing out the paucity of in-flight gaming options compared to other in-flight entertainment options. Travelers aren't forced to listen to midi versions of their favorite songs nor are they forced to watch black-and-white versions of movies. So why are they subjected to such a paltry list of rudimentary and same-seeming games? One day, planes might carry the best of gaming.

Until then, pack your own portable device of choice: ideally one that offers more than mere puzzlers.