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In defense of Rumble Roses XX

Ken Weeks

Is it just me, or does Alex Navarro's joyless video review of Rumble Roses XX (6.6 out of 10) sound like it was delivered with the knowledge that his Mom would be tuning in:

It creates the same unseemly vibe as [the previous PS2 game]. The girls in the game are very much objects of affection. They don't have any personality to speak of. They don't say much...They're there to dance for you, to shake their asses, to jiggle their chests in front of you and they've gone so far in this game to let you dress them up in outfits and have them pose in sexy ways and take photos of them and trade them with people online. It's gone to that next level of softcore porn where, you know,adolescent boys, they're gonna love it, but if the whole idea of dressing up polygonal women and having them jiggle their parts in front of you makes you at all uncomfortable, you're gonna hate this game.

Oy, next he'll start complaining about the booth babes at E3.

If I want to be told that dressing up digital dolls in schoolgirl outfits and forcing them to do jumping jacks is "unseemly,"  there are plenty of sources I can turn to for that sentiment. Like say, every woman on the planet. This review is sort of like listening to your girlfriend whine about the lack of plot in Buttman Goes to Rio.

Gameplay issues aside, I think the developers accomplished exactly what they set out to do with RRXX: create a fetish-friendly female wrestling title with great graphics that oozes sex appeal and bizarre Japanese kink. Give them some credit for staying true to that vision.

And if somebody tells you you're a perv for getting your sick thrills from a pixelated girl in a leather thong, remind them that staring at John Cena's perfectly rendered nipples as he crotch locks a sweaty Rey Mysterio isn't an improvement—at least if you're straight.

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